IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Men and women can never share the same responsibilities at home and in everyday life. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I completely disagree, as a wife or a husband
for example
Linking Words
 there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a lot of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
diffrenet responsibilties
Correct your spelling
different responsibilities
 as like
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
taking care of
they're
Replace the word
their
show examples
 children, Usually the wife
effect
Verb problem
is affected
show examples
 more
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 raising children because in the meanwhile their
fhather
Correct your spelling
father
 is busy working to earn money. But there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 exceptions
ofcourse
Correct your spelling
of course
, A few families
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
tend to have both
working
Correct article usage
a working
show examples
 mother and father in my opinion I think it's a very negative thing for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 kids. In the
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 see that it's a negative thing and it can bring a lot of problems to their
chilren
Correct your spelling
children
 because they
didn't
Wrong verb form
don't
show examples
 give them much of their time since they both have the same
responsibilites
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
 and
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 they're both busy at work.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introduction should clearly outline your stance on the topic, making it easier for the reader to understand your position right from the beginning.
task achievement
Some statements could be more fully developed with clearer explanations and examples. For instance, elaborate on how shared responsibilities could benefit children.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use proper transitions between ideas to enhance the logical flow of your essay. This will improve coherence and make your arguments clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using a variety of sentence structures and correcting spelling errors to help improve readability and engagement.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion against shared responsibilities, which is a great starting point for your argument.
coherence and cohesion
You address potential exceptions, which adds depth to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: