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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts below shows the distribution of students by gender and by the subject they are studying at a major university in 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below shows the distribution of students by gender and by the subject they are studying at a major university in 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie chart illustrates the distribution of
students
Use synonyms
 by gender(male and female) and by the subject they are studying at a main university in 2020. The subjects are; engineering, business, arts and humanities, science, education and other.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 male
students
Use synonyms
 distributed higher proportion compared to female
students
Use synonyms
. A large number of
students
Use synonyms
 preferred to study major as engineering and business,
while
Linking Words
 the least subject
students
Use synonyms
 had was education and other.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the distribution of male
students
Use synonyms
 was 52%,
while
Linking Words
 female
students
Use synonyms
 was 48%. 40% of boys took engineering as
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
however
Linking Words
, 10% of female
students
Use synonyms
 took engineering as their major.
Business
Add an article
The business
show examples
 was equally relevant in both girls and boys and that was 20% and 25%.
Also
Linking Words
, 15% of both genders considered science as
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
 and the proportion was 45%. In other, 5% of male
students
Use synonyms
 took it as
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
, female
students
Use synonyms
 considered
Correct pronoun usage
it other
show examples
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
 in 15%.
This
Linking Words
 same proportion
also
Linking Words
saw
Wrong verb form
seen
show examples
 in education.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • distribution
  • gender
  • enrollment
  • subjects
  • depict
  • majority
  • minority
  • preference
  • bias
  • discipline
  • proportion
  • demographic
  • interest
  • participation
  • disparities
  • trend
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