IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You lost an item while traveling on a bus. An employee of the bus company assisted you in recovering your lost item. Write a letter to the company manager to thank the employee. In your letter describe what you lost and why it was important to you how the employee helped you find it and explain how you felt after recovering it.

#item #bus #employee #company #manager
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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to express my sincere gratitude for the assistance that I recently received from your
bus
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 driver, David Flinders. The kindness and helpfulness that he demonstrated in helping me recover a lost personal item impressed me a lot.
Last
Linking Words
 Friday I took the
bus
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 from Flagstaff station to Victoria Market station as usual. Upon arrival, I realised that I accidentally left my laptop on the
bus
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. I cannot express how anxious I was at that moment as it contained numerous work-related documents that could not
be
Wrong verb form
have been
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 recovered had they been lost. Being helpless, I contacted the customer hotline on your website and reported
this
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 case. Twenty minutes later, I received a call from David, the driver of the
bus
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 that I took, who told me that he had happened to find the laptop
while
Linking Words
 checking the interior of the
bus
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 arriving at the terminal and had kept it for its owner. I could not be more grateful to hear
this
Linking Words
 news. Had it not been for David's carefulness, I would not have been able to avoid potential losses. His kind behaviour is definitely the best note of your notion of "Everything for the customers". I would highly appreciate it if you could help convey my gratitude to him and I look forward to my future trips with your company. Yours sincerely, Changyue Zhou
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Task Achievement
To further improve your letter, consider adding more specific details about how the employee helped besides finding and keeping the item. For example, describe any efforts they made to contact you or any instructions they gave you on how to retrieve the item.
Coherence & Cohesion
Increase the variety of your sentence structures to enhance the readability of your letter. While your letter is well-organized, using a broader range of complex sentences can make your writing more engaging.
Task Achievement
For an even higher score, you might consider incorporating direct speech or reported speech to recount your interaction with the employee. This would add depth to your narration and make your appreciation feel more personal and vivid.
Coherence & Cohesion
Though your letter is very well written, always proofread for minor errors or opportunities to use more precise vocabulary. This will ensure your writing is not only correct but also showcases your language skills to their fullest.
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