Some people say that older people should live with their adult children, while others think they should live in homes specially built for old people. Which do you think is a better practice?

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There is no doubt that these days we think

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

about

for

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about

show examples

the best practice to do for our old age people. The question is, it's better to let them live with their

oloder

Correct your spelling

older

children or they should live in

home

Add an article

a home

the home

show examples

that

specially

Add a missing verb

is specially

show examples

built for them

Change the punctuation

show examples

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

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I will discuss both views and draw my opinion in the end. On one hand, if

thay

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they

live with their older son they would be more comfortable and the son will make sure to talk and walk with them and eat lunch and dinner together. In other, parents like to spend time with their sons and grandchildren

this

Linking Words

will

made

Change the verb form

make

be made

show examples

them happy and healthier.

For example

Linking Words

whan

Correct your spelling

when

a grandfather

starting

Wrong verb form

starts

show examples

the day

eating

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by eating

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breakfast with his

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

children's

and

Correct your spelling

grandchildren

grandchildrens

Add a comma

grandchildrens,

show examples

this

Linking Words

is to him like

giveing

Correct your spelling

giving

the world to him because that

what

Add a missing verb

is what

show examples

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

age nothing else.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, sons could forget to

cheack

Correct your spelling

check

older

people

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people's

show examples

health regularly

beacuse

Correct your spelling

because

they would be busy with their jobs and families. To illustrate, in the homes that have

speciall

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special

treatment for

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

older people let the nurses

cheack

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check

with them regularly 24H and feed them in time

with out

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without

show examples

any delays for the breakfast or

lunche

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lunch

lunches

Moreover

Linking Words

, nurses have high

experince

Correct your spelling

experience

in dealing with

this

Linking Words

age and how

treat

Add the particle

to treat

show examples

them

will

Correct your spelling

well

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

nurses

Change noun form

nurses'

nurse's

show examples

jobs

Fix the agreement mistake

job

show examples

Add a missing verb

is to

show examples

serve these older citizens so they will be with them all the time if

this

Linking Words

older

humen

Correct your spelling

human

ask

Correct subject-verb agreement

asks

show examples

for anything

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

immeditly

Correct your spelling

immediately

will serve him

with

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apply

show examples

it. In conclusion, there is no easy answer

for

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show examples

this

Linking Words

question. But I believe it would be better

Change preposition

for

show examples

the old

paernts

Correct your spelling

parents

to live with their

childern

Correct your spelling

children

with

regards

Fix the agreement mistake

regard

show examples

to the reasons

Change the capitalization

show examples

say

Wrong verb form

said

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

above.

nawaf-binhusseinThu Apr 10 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and sets up the essay well. However, consider rephrasing for clarity and grammatical correctness. For instance, use 'I will discuss both views and present my opinion in the end.' instead of 'draw my opinion in the end.'

task achievement

In your paragraphs, develop your ideas more fully. For example, explain how living with children may impact the health of older people positively, and ensure clarity in your examples by refining your language. For instance, instead of 'this is to him like giving the world to him,' consider a more precise phrase like 'this brings immense joy to him.'

coherence and cohesion

Ensure consistency in your language and grammar. For instance, 'older children' can be referred to simply as 'their children' in this context. Pay attention to spelling errors, such as 'alot' (a lot), 'becuase' (because), and 'cheack' (check).

task achievement

Your essay effectively discusses both perspectives on caring for older people and presents a personal opinion, which is essential for task achievement.

task achievement

You have provided relatable examples, such as family breakfast time, which add emotional depth to your writing. This connection enhances the engagement of your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional support
familial bonding
isolated
heritage
traditions
personalized care
wheelchair accessibility
facilities
community of peers
social interactions
mental health
generation gaps
lifestyle
pressure of caregiving
feelings of abandonment
isolation

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Some people say that older people should live with their adult children, while others think they should live in homes specially built for old people. Which do you think is a better practice?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some think college is best for career preparation, while others prefer gaining work experience early. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people think that zoos are cruel. Others think they are helpful in protecting rare animals. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.