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Band 6.5

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. Assel

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. Assel
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The two bar charts illustrate the percentage of citizens between 2002 and 2010, and analysis of
computer
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 by education level in five main categories – no high
school
Use synonyms
 diploma, high
school
Use synonyms
 graduate, college (incomplete), bachelor’s degree, postgraduate qualification – in the same year.
Overall
Linking Words
,
impact
Add an article
the impact
show examples
 of increased access to technology climbed steadily
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
over time.
Correlation
Correct article usage
The correlation
show examples
 between educational attainment and
computer
Use synonyms
 holders was
clear
Change the word
clearly
show examples
 positive in
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 years. In 2002,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of people with PC’s
about
Add a missing verb
was about
show examples
 55%. The data rose mightily over the years,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
reaching approximately 80% in 2010. The general trend shows a consistent increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
computer
Use synonyms
 users across the period. Looking at
computer
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 by educational attainment in 2002, those with no high
school
Use synonyms
 diploma had the lowest
ownership
Use synonyms
 rate (around 15%),
while
Linking Words
 the postgraduates qualification owned computers nearly 80%. All groups showed
dramatically rose
Replace the word
a dramatic rise
show examples
 in 2010. The lowest group (no high
school
Use synonyms
 diploma) nearly doubled in
ownership
Use synonyms
, reaching about 45%, and the highest group (postgraduate qualification) increased to nearly 95%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words computer, ownership, school with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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