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Writing Samples
Band 6

In an era of globalization, some people think that studying abroad is the best way to attain a well-paid job while others believe other options are better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, it is argued that working outside of your own country is better than other options are much better.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and the reasons and drawbacks of
such
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 decisions.
To begin
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 with, globalization has converted the world into a big village where the exchange of goods and services is effortless. Some people think to exploit
such
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 a way in order to gain greater benefits.
Furthermore
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, individuals are attracted towards developed economies because of their high income relative to their own country.
While
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 many highly paid jobs are still available, most people lack the expertise or decline to get jobs
due to
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 high competition .
For instance
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, a survey conducted by India's financial sector found that most of the doctors, almost 60%, in India are lowly paid and a similar case is seen in other parts of employment.
Therefore
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, for
students
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, who are being exposed to
such
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 an environment ,foreign opportunities seem like a better alternative.
On the other hand
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, some other individuals think that there are more viable options
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
available in their own countries. Studying at a prestigious university in one's own state will open up new possibilities that can be beneficial for some
students
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 .
Moreover
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, it is much cheaper than studying abroad. So, for
students
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 with low financial status,
this
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 seems like the best option to pursue.
For example
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, if a student can't afford to study abroad
then
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 automatically local universities will be the best way to go.
Thus
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, not all
students
Use synonyms
 will wish to be placed in a foreign university. In conclusion, both directions will be equally valid for pupils but studying overseas, if they are provided with
such
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opportunity
Correct article usage
an opportunity
show examples
, will be the best choice in my opinion as they will discover a plethora of ways to become successful in their lives since
such
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 degrees typically have more weightage than others.

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task achievement
Provide a clearer introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed. This helps guide the reader through your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your arguments are more systematically structured with appropriate linking phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and details to support your arguments fully, which can enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
task achievement
You demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic and present logical points in your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a good range of vocabulary and varied sentence structures, which enhance readability.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Exposure
  • Educational systems
  • Career opportunities
  • Cutting-edge technology
  • Soft skills
  • Adaptability
  • Communication
  • Cultural understanding
  • Multinational companies
  • Networking opportunities
  • International internships
  • Global work readiness
  • Cost-prohibitive
  • Local university programs
  • Practical work experience
  • Vocational training
  • Specialized certification programs
  • High-demand industries
  • Qualifications
  • Job markets
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