IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The company you work for has been extremely successful this year. Your boss wants to do something special to thank all the employees. She is considering either taking everyone on a 5-day cruise to the Bahamas or giving everyone a $1500 bonus at the end of the year. She has decided to conduct an anonymous survey. Which option do you prefer? Option A: Cruise Option B: Bonus

I personally think if she gives 1500$ to us it is not only
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
descision
Correct your spelling
decision
 for her but
also
Linking Words
 it works for us, because of two major reasons. I'll explain my point of view in
these
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 following statements. The first reason is that they have many options to do with their
money
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, someone needs to pay one
month
Change noun form
month's
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 rent
by
Change preposition
for
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 1500$ and paying rent makes her
more happy
Replace the words
happier
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 rather than going on
trip
Add an article
a trip
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 by cruise.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
men and women
according to
Linking Words
 their happiness and their needs,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have no
limition
Correct your spelling
limit
 to
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 their
money
Use synonyms
. The second reason is that the manager doesn't need to make a schedule for their employees to go
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the trip by cruise.
For instance
Linking Words
, she can give
money
Use synonyms
 to them as much as easier than
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 a plan for them.
As a result
Linking Words
, for manager transfers
money
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
effectively as well. In conclusion, option b, Bonus works for both the manager and the employees as well
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 of two
majar
Correct your spelling
major
 reasons that I mentioned.

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task achievement
Develop your main points further and provide more detailed explanations or examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clearer logical structure with distinct paragraphs for each argument.
coherence and cohesion
There are some grammatical errors; make sure to proofread your work before submitting it to improve clarity.
task achievement
You have effectively stated your preference for the bonus option and provided reasons to support your choice.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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