IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In an era characterized by advanced social networks and delivery technologies, electronic commerce has emerged incredibly. Some voices caution against the rapid growth of e-commerce has the potential to take the place of physical
shops
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay vehemently opposes
such
Linking Words
 assertions. Rather, it contends that trust problems in online
shops
Use synonyms
 and socializing through shopping in physical locations never stop people’s in-store demand. The first reason why shopping venues will be forever stems from that individuals can not totally trust Internet shopping. Some product types, especially technological devices, are required to be touched with hands and to be seen with eyes by customers in order to ensure the product can be used and does not have any problems.
However
Linking Words
, a buyer’s abilities online are restricted, he or she can only see a product’s images and its reviews.
According to
Linking Words
 a Harvard study, the conversion rate in physical locations is ten per cent more compared to online, because of the trust that a customer has Meeting humans’ social needs is another cornerstone for preventing e-
shops
Use synonyms
 from gaining all of the market share. Shopping is not only a purchasing behaviour but
also
Linking Words
 an activity in that people socialize with others.
Shops
Use synonyms
 are great places for asking others’ opinions and making small talk.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 feature of shopping serves as a vehicle for communication and socializing, mostly for those who struggle to interact. Recent research shows there are two major groups that identify themselves as a shopping addict. The first group is which suffers from fear of missing out, and the second group of people who are lonely but feel better in
shops
Use synonyms
 thanks to communicating with human beings.
To sum up
Linking Words
, physical
shops
Use synonyms
 act as a catalyst for getting into interactions and assist consumers to make sure the product is appropriate.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the benefits of in-place shopping make impossible the claims of online
shops
Use synonyms
’ supremacy.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

examples
Try to include more specific, real-world examples to support your arguments. Although mentioning a Harvard study adds credibility, providing more detailed examples or statistics could strengthen your position.
organization
Ensure a clear, consistent argument flow throughout your essay. Transition sentences between paragraphs could enhance the logical structure, making your argument more persuasive.
language
Work on varying sentence structure and vocabulary to enrich your essay. The use of a diverse language range will not only engage the reader more but also demonstrate your language proficiency.
introduction
Your introduction effectively sets up a clear thesis, opposing the notion that e-commerce will replace physical stores, which is a strong start to your essay.
content
You've successfully identified and elaborated on two main reasons supporting your thesis, making your argument sound and well-founded.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance, neatly wrapping up your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
Look at other essays: