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Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now.

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now.
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The illustration displays how a public library has
experinced
Correct your spelling
experienced
 changes within a
20 year
Add a hyphen
20-year
show examples
 span as a comparison to what it
appers
Correct your spelling
appears
 to
today
Add a missing verb
be today
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the library has undergone various alterations. It seems that the library is now equipped with more modernized stuff.
Also
Linking Words
, it
appers
Correct your spelling
appears
 to have better structured rooms to obtain a better use of space. 20 years ago, Tables and chairs
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 the first thing you would see right from the entrance,
however
Linking Words
, they
apper
Correct your spelling
appear
 to be no longer there today.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Adult non-
fiction
Use synonyms
 and
fiction
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 used to be segregated back in the given period, but today there is only a
room
Use synonyms
 dedicated
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Adult
fiction
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, that same
room
Use synonyms
 has now installed newly
constracted
Correct your spelling
constructed
contracted
 Self-service machines. Opposite
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that, is now the All
reference
Correct your spelling
Reference Books
show examples
books
Use synonyms
room
Use synonyms
 which was once the Adult
Use synonyms
fiction
Correct your spelling
Fiction Books
show examples
books
Use synonyms
room
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a new Cafe has been built
instead
Linking Words
 of the Enquiry desk which was once used to book tickets and return
books
Use synonyms
. The CDs, videos,
computer
Correct word choice
and computer
show examples
 games
room
Use synonyms
 has shown the most drastic change
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 to how spacious it is now. It is now the new Children's
fiction
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
room
Use synonyms
 in which
hosting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
storytelling events take place with
nicely
Correct article usage
a nicely
show examples
 placed Sofa in each corner of the
room
Use synonyms
. The reading
room
Use synonyms
 is simply more modernized
has
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 it is a computer
room
Use synonyms
 now.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fiction, books, room with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • floor plan
  • layout
  • shelving
  • reading area
  • reference section
  • encyclopedias
  • dictionaries
  • circulation desk
  • transactions
  • digital media
  • computer stations
  • multimedia rooms
  • café area
  • social environment
  • leisure-friendly
  • expanded reading areas
  • user experience
  • comfortable seating
  • children's section
  • engage younger readers
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