In the past it was only possible to contact people at home by letter or telephone. Nowadays, mobile devices mean that we can communicate with people anywhere and at any time. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction

In the

past

Add a comma

past,

show examples

it was only possible to communicate

Change preposition

show examples

home by

telephones

Fix the agreement mistake

telephone

show examples

and letter.At present mobile

phones

Use synonyms

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

taken over,

Its

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

become very easy and accessible for all generations.With one touch they can can see the world.

Body paragraph 1

Mobile

phones

Use synonyms

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

first introduced without

internet

Correct article usage

an internet

show examples

connection, later it

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

upgraded to Android and

Iphone

Correct your spelling

iPhone

with lots of

feauters

Correct your spelling

functions

and now

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

everywere

Correct your spelling

everywhere

from urban to rural. People can communicate

Change preposition

with

show examples

other countries very easily. Eg:

watsapp

Correct your spelling

,Instagram,X app.These

moblie

Correct your spelling

mobile

phones

Use synonyms

are more

usefull

Correct your spelling

useful

for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rural

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

,for emergency

purpose

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

show examples

Also

Linking Words

to communicate with people who are away

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

the near and dear

once

Correct your spelling

ones

show examples

Body paragraph 2

Disadvantages are

also

Linking Words

equivalent

while

Linking Words

using mobile.Human interaction has become very less.Children under age are

also

Linking Words

using mobile

phones

Use synonyms

Eg: Youtube,

Body paragraph 3

Gameing

Correct your spelling

Gaming

app,Cocomelon,

candy crush

Correct your spelling

Candy Crush

show examples

.These apps spoil

kids

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kids'

kid's

show examples

brain

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brains

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and reduce their own creativity.

Body paragraph 4

Linking Words

Further more

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

show examples

, Children watching these apps get addicted to

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

and never engage in

out door

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outdoor

show examples

activity.

Body paragraph 5

and

endup

Correct your spelling

end up

speach

Correct your spelling

speech

delay, visual autism,and

throughing

Correct your spelling

throwing

tamtrum

Correct your spelling

tantrum

also

Linking Words

becoming hyperactive.

Conclusion

The conclusion is

mobile

Correct article usage

the mobile

show examples

phone is only

requird

Correct your spelling

required

for basic

reqirement

Correct your spelling

requirement

requirements

, it should not takeaway

humans

Fix the agreement mistake

human

show examples

time and creativiy,

Moreover

Linking Words

,if

this

Linking Words

becomes

dominent

Correct your spelling

dominant

then

Linking Words

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

be more dependent

without

Change preposition

show examples

any activity.

shivpooja3504

Apr 11, 2025

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Task Achievement

The introduction could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that outlines your specific argument regarding the advantages and disadvantages of mobile devices.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that your ideas are well-structured. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and transition phrases to improve flow between points.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your claims, especially about the advantages of mobile phones. This could help strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Recheck the use of grammar and vocabulary, especially verb tense consistency and spelling of certain words to improve clarity and professionalism.

Task Achievement

The essay effectively addresses both advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones, providing a balanced perspective.

Task Achievement

You have included relevant examples of applications that children use, which helps illustrate your point about mobile devices.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

196 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Connectivity
Geographical boundaries
International audience
Social movements
Convenience
Flexibility
Emergency contacts
Productivity
Information accessibility
Dependency
Over-reliance
Face-to-face interactions
Privacy issues
Work-life boundaries
Uninterrupted personal time

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In the past it was only possible to contact people at home by letter or telephone. Nowadays, mobile devices mean that we can communicate with people anywhere and at any time. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

You live in a house opposite a park. Every day a man brings large dogs to the park and lets them run free. Write a letter to your local council complaining about the danger. In your letter -say where the park is, -say how often this happens -give a description of the man and the dogs.

Doctors, nurses and teacher make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sport celebrities. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, many people choose to work remotely from home instead of commuting to the office every day. What are the advantages and disadvantages of working from home?