In the past it was only possible to contact people at home by letter or telephone. Nowadays, mobile devices mean that we can communicate with people anywhere and at any time. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the
past
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past,
show examples
it was only possible to communicate
to
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at
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home by
telephones
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telephone
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and letter.At present mobile
phones
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
taken over,
Its
Correct pronoun usage
It
show examples
become very easy and accessible for all generations.With one touch they can can see the world. Mobile
phones
Use synonyms
was
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were
show examples
first introduced without
internet
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an internet
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connection, later it
was
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were
show examples
upgraded to Android and
Iphone
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iPhone
with lots of
feauters
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functions
and now
internet
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the internet
show examples
is
everywere
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everywhere
from urban to rural. People can communicate
to
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with
show examples
other countries very easily. Eg:
watsapp
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WhatsApp
Whatsapp
,Instagram,X app.These
moblie
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mobile
phones
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are more
usefull
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useful
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
area
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areas
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,for emergency
purpose
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purposes
show examples
.
Also
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to communicate with people who are away
form
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from
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the near and dear
once
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ones
show examples
. Disadvantages are
also
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equivalent
while
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using mobile.Human interaction has become very less.Children under age are
also
Linking Words
using mobile
phones
Use synonyms
Eg: Youtube,
Gameing
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Gaming
app,Cocomelon,
candy crush
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Candy Crush
show examples
.These apps spoil
kids
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kids'
kid's
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brain
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brains
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and reduce their own creativity.
Linking Words
Further more
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Furthermore
show examples
, Children watching these apps get addicted to
it
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them
show examples
and never engage in
out door
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outdoor
show examples
activity. and
endup
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end up
in
speach
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speech
delay, visual autism,and
throughing
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throwing
tamtrum
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tantrum
also
Linking Words
becoming hyperactive. The conclusion is
mobile
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the mobile
show examples
phone is only
requird
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required
for basic
reqirement
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requirement
requirements
, it should not takeaway
humans
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human
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time and creativiy,
Moreover
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,if
this
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becomes
dominent
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dominant
then
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human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
would
Wrong verb form
will
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be more dependent
without
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on
show examples
any activity.

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Task Achievement
The introduction could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that outlines your specific argument regarding the advantages and disadvantages of mobile devices.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are well-structured. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and transition phrases to improve flow between points.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your claims, especially about the advantages of mobile phones. This could help strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Recheck the use of grammar and vocabulary, especially verb tense consistency and spelling of certain words to improve clarity and professionalism.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively addresses both advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones, providing a balanced perspective.
Task Achievement
You have included relevant examples of applications that children use, which helps illustrate your point about mobile devices.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Connectivity
  • Geographical boundaries
  • International audience
  • Social movements
  • Convenience
  • Flexibility
  • Emergency contacts
  • Productivity
  • Information accessibility
  • Dependency
  • Over-reliance
  • Face-to-face interactions
  • Privacy issues
  • Work-life boundaries
  • Uninterrupted personal time
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