IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, the gap between the rich and the poor is becoming wider in some countries of the world. What problems can this situation cause? What solutions should be taken?

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In many countries,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
income
Use synonyms
 inequality has been broadened widely recently.
This
Linking Words
 growing disparity leads to negative consequences on both social and economic. In
this
Linking Words
 passage, I will discuss the cause of
huge
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the huge
show examples
 gap between rich and poor and provide some possible solutions. Admittedly, by no means should we deny that
income
Use synonyms
 inequality
have
Change the verb form
has
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significant
Correct article usage
a significant
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neative
Correct your spelling
negative
 impact. First of all,
increasing
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an increasing
the increasing
show examples
 amount of crimes could be a result. The residents who live
under
Change preposition
in
show examples
poverty
Use synonyms
 do not have enough money to support their living
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
. When their basic needs
such
Linking Words
 as
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 and food
cannnot
Correct your spelling
cannot
 be
achieved
Verb problem
met
show examples
, the pressure on them
force
Change the verb form
forces
show examples
 them to do
somethings
Fix the agreement mistake
something
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 illegal, so the possibility of crime
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
rises
rise
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
huge
Add an article
the huge
a huge
show examples
 gap can
also
Linking Words
 cause a
cycle
Use synonyms
 of
poverty
Use synonyms
. Money is needed in order to attend
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 and training, which cannot afforded by some poor households.
As a result
Linking Words
, the next
genenration
Correct your spelling
generation
 of them still
maintain
Correct subject-verb agreement
maintains
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a low level of
education
Use synonyms
. They do not have enough knowledge or skills to achieve high
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
, resulting in a bad
cycle
Use synonyms
 of
poverty
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 hard to break. It is no doubt that there exist solutions to solve these issues.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the government can increase the progressive
tax
Use synonyms
. By charging higher
Use synonyms
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 to
high
Add a hyphen
high-income
show examples
income
Use synonyms
 people and lower
Use synonyms
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 to
low
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
income
Use synonyms
 people, the disposable
income
Use synonyms
 between them will be much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
closer, so the difference will be narrowed.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the government can provide
education
Use synonyms
 and training for free. Through
this
Linking Words
 way, even children in poor
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 can attach to professional
education
Use synonyms
 and learn something useful. The educational difference can be reduced, so the
cycle
Use synonyms
 of
poverty
Use synonyms
 could be possibly broken. In conclusion, in view of what I have illustrated above,
gap
Add an article
the gap
show examples
 between rich and poor leads to crime and
Use synonyms
cycle
Correct article usage
the cycle
show examples
 of
poverty
Use synonyms
. The government can introduce
Use synonyms
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 and offer
education
Use synonyms
 to solve
this
Linking Words
 issue. Only by balancing the
income
Use synonyms
 inequality can we achieve better economic development.

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Grammar
Ensure accurate grammar, especially with singular/plural forms (e.g., 'income inequality has been broadened' instead of 'have been broadened').
Clarity
Avoid vague terms such as 'huge gap' by specifying what exactly you mean (e.g., 'significant wealth disparity').
Cohesion
Use more linking words to enhance transitions between points and improve overall flow (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In addition').
Content
The essay clearly identifies key issues surrounding income inequality and its impact on society and the economy.
Ideas
The proposed solutions are practical and demonstrate understanding of possible government interventions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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