IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the past it was only possible to contact people at home by letter or telephone. Nowadays, mobile devices mean that we can communicate with people anywhere and at any time. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays it is normal to receive or send a text message at any
time
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.
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However
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However,
show examples
 it was not possible many years ago.
While
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,
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apply
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this
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 phenomenon has some drawbacks. I think that
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 benefits are more remarkable. On the one hand, there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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certain reasons that how the usage of
technology
Use synonyms
 for communicating with each other can be noticed as
diasdvangeous
Correct your spelling
disadvantageous
. The most significant reason is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the emission of harmful rays from mobile phones. To clarify,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mobile phones
emitt
Correct your spelling
emit
emitted
 harmful microwaves that
affects
Change the verb form
affect
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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human health adversely. To cite an example,
last
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 year
samsung
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Samsung
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 company came up with the data that 35% of
people
Use synonyms
 use their phone
while
Linking Words
 charging it and ultimately they got affected by microwaves.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
got
Verb problem
have
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 severe health ailments in comparison to
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, despite having the disadvantages, there
are
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is
show examples
multitude
Add an article
a multitude
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 of advantages of using
latest
Add an article
the latest
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technology
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as mobile phones and
Correct article usage
the interenet
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interenet
Correct your spelling
Internet
 to keep in touch with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
. First and
the
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apply
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foremost is
that
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apply
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saving
of
Change preposition
apply
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time
Use synonyms
. To justify, with the help of
interent
Correct your spelling
internet
people
Use synonyms
 can share information, make a call or text to each other just in few clicks without wasting any
time
Use synonyms
 from any corner of the world.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is convenient and cheap
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
comapred
Correct your spelling
compared
 to writing letters which takes a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 and sending fees.
For example
Linking Words
, these days, we can use
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
skype and similar kinds of
technology
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for calling
Change preposition
to call
show examples
 our family and friends living overseas for free and there is no
time
Use synonyms
 limit for that at all.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the recent changes in communication using
cellphone
Fix the agreement mistake
cellphones
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 and other
technology
Use synonyms
 devices
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 certain cons, I still believe that it has more pros
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 in terms of speed and price.

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the main argument more explicitly, for instance, stating that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow by structuring paragraphs more clearly, and linking ideas more effectively within and between paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Use more precise language and correct spelling (e.g., 'emission' not 'emmitt', 'internet' not 'interenet') to enhance clarity and professionalism.
task achievement
You have presented a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of modern communication.
task achievement
Your examples, such as using Skype for free calls, effectively support your points about the advantages of technology in communication.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Connectivity
  • Geographical boundaries
  • International audience
  • Social movements
  • Convenience
  • Flexibility
  • Emergency contacts
  • Productivity
  • Information accessibility
  • Dependency
  • Over-reliance
  • Face-to-face interactions
  • Privacy issues
  • Work-life boundaries
  • Uninterrupted personal time
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