in a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructiong new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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In modern times, public transport between cities is a very important issue. Related to
this
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some individuals support the construction
high-speed
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of high-speed
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train lines.
However
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, others think that it is necessary to improve existing public transport.
This
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essay will discuss both two views and give my own opinion. On the one hand, city dwellers must reduce their dependence on cars and buses for traffic problems.
Moreover
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, parking a car is extremely difficult in big cities. That's why city ​​officials should take steps in order to develop new railway lines. Fast
trains
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help people can travel quickly from one city to another. New speed
trains
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which are cheap and fast can make intercity transportation more effective.
Also
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, fast
trains
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are very comfortable and environmentally friendly. So governments should spend a large amount of money on building railway lines to both promote tourism and reduce pollution.
For example
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, the Novosti agency reports that a new type of passenger train in Japan has reached a record speed of 366 kilometres per hour.
On the other hand
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,
instead
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of new projects, improving existing public transport is more practical. Because
,
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apply
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there are bus and metro
delineation
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delineations
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in most developing cities.
Although
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they are dirty, old-fashioned and slow, these issues can be overcome and problems solved. The government can implement these projects more cheaply and in a shorter time. The budget can
also
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cover these costs.
Additionally
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, investment in existing buses and
trains
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will ease traffic congestion. In conclusion, I believe that it is more important to invest in current public transit,
then
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government
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the government
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can start thinking about fast train projects.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly states both sides of the argument before outlining your opinion. Avoid phrases like 'both two views', which can be confusing. A more precise phrasing could be 'both views'.
coherence and cohesion
Provide clearer transitions between your ideas. For example, linking phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' should be followed by clearer connections to your points. Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly from one to the next.
task achievement
In your conclusion, rephrase the main points you discussed. Instead of stating your opinion in isolation, connect it back to the discussions on both sides of the issue with a stronger synthesis.
task achievement
Expand on your examples. The example of Japan’s train speed is a good start, but further details about the impact or outcomes of that investment would strengthen your argument. For instance, discuss how it has impacted travel time or environmental issues.
task achievement
The essay covers both views effectively and presents a personal opinion, which indicates an understanding of the task's requirement.
task achievement
The use of specific examples like the train in Japan adds credibility to your argument and shows you can incorporate relevant facts into your writing.
task achievement
Your points about the environmental benefits of fast trains and the practicality of improving existing transport show an understanding of broader implications.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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