Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write atleast 250 words.

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Utilizing
kids
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'
time
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has become a concern recently. It has been noticed that they are
wating
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wanting
wasting
waiting
a lot of
time
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playing on their phone or chatting with their friends. I strongly believe that
this
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attitude has many drawbacks
on
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to
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childrens'
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children's
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peronality
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personality
and their mental health. In
this
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essay, I will explain why I think so.
Kids
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are becoming more distracted. Teachers in schools noticed that students
in
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at
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the elementary level are struggling to focus for more than ten minutes.
For example
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, as an elementary teacher, I noticed in the
last
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two years that the quality of students' academic outcomes in Math has reduced by about 10%.
Moreover
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, it is challenging for me to keep them focused on one skill, like addition, for 20 minutes. Learners indicated that it is boring and they can use their mobiles to add.
Also
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, they expressed being annoyed
of
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with
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working in groups to solve some
addition
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additional
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questions as they feel discussing on WhatsApp Chat groups is more interesting.
In addition
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, children's social lives will be highly affected by smartphones. They prefer to spend all their free
time
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on phone entertainment rather than visiting friends and family members.
For instance
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, my five-year-old son would like to be rewarded with hours of playing Super Mario on his phone, rather than going to the park and meeting his friends.
This
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reflects negatively not only on their social skills but
also
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on their mental health. In conclusion,
kids
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should not spend unlimited
time
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on their phones. Distraction and isolation are the most serious threats that the new generation may face in the future. I suggest that parent take action and limit the technology
time
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for the benefit of their
kids
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.

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task achievement
Ensure that all ideas are fully developed and clearly explained to enhance clarity. For example, when mentioning the reduced academic outcomes, consider elaborating on how this impacts students in long term.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve transitions between ideas for smoother flow. Linking sentences or paragraphs can enhance the logical structure further and connect your arguments more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with spelling, as this might distract the reader (e.g., 'wating' should be 'wasting' and 'peronality' should be 'personality').
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, with relevant arguments supporting your view.
task achievement
You provide specific examples from your experiences, which effectively illustrate the points you are making.
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