IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some argue that spending money on
space
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exploration
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 is a waste and that governments should focus on addressing pressing social issues.
While
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 I acknowledge the importance of immediate societal needs, I firmly believe that investing in
space
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 research is crucial for long-term progress. Here are my arguments.
Firstly
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,
space
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exploration
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 drives technological innovation, which has widespread benefits for society.
For example
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, satellite technology has revolutionized communication, weather forecasting, and global navigation, significantly enhancing everyday life.
Additionally
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, advancements in
space
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 research have led to medical breakthroughs,
such
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 as improved imaging devices and treatments for serious diseases, contributing to public health and well-being.
Secondly
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, studying
space
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 can provide solutions to critical challenges on Earth.
For instance
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, climate monitoring satellites help track environmental changes, supporting global efforts to combat climate change.
Furthermore
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, exploring other planets could offer alternative resources and habitats, ensuring humanity's long-term survival.
Space
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 programs
also
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 inspire scientific curiosity, motivating future generations to pursue careers in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM), which drives economic growth.
However
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, governments must strike a balance between
space
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exploration
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 and addressing immediate social needs. Adequate funding for healthcare, education, and infrastructure is essential for societal well-being. Yet, completely halting
space
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 research would limit scientific progress, hindering future advancements that could benefit humanity as a whole. In conclusion,
while
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 it is vital to address current societal issues, the long-term benefits of
space
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exploration
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 cannot be overlooked. By allocating resources to both immediate needs and scientific innovation, governments can ensure sustainable development and secure a brighter future for all.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position, which is essential for the reader's understanding. However, consider adding a brief mention of the counter-argument in the introduction to enhance the complexity of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
In your second paragraph, the ideas are well-organized and flow logically from one point to the next. To further enhance coherence, consider using linking words like 'Moreover' or 'Furthermore' to connect related ideas.
task achievement
While you provided examples to support your arguments, incorporating one or two more specific examples, particularly regarding healthcare and education funding, could strengthen your points further.
content
Your essay presents well-developed arguments supporting the value of space exploration, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.
content
You effectively used specific examples to illustrate your points, such as the impact of satellite technology and climate monitoring.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • complete waste
  • benefit the nation
  • technological advancements
  • foster
  • international cooperation
  • inspire
  • engage
  • boost the economy
  • long-term benefits
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