IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the number of participants by activities between 2000 and 2020.(Anelya)

The line graph shows the number of participants by activities between 2000 and 2020.(Anelya)
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The shown
chart
Use synonyms
 represents the proportion of competitors who did a lot of type activities between
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 period 2000 and 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
film
Correct article usage
the film
show examples
 club was
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the highest point on the line graph,
while
Linking Words
 the statistics
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 amateur dramatics decreased and reached the lowest level on the
chart
Use synonyms
 over the given time interval. The figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 table tennis and musical
performance
Fix the agreement mistake
performances
show examples
 rose substantially. In the line
chart
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
given
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the film club was in the highest position and on the top, because it is more interesting for members like activities. In 2000, the
statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
show examples
 for table tennis
was went
Change the verb form
went
show examples
 up
firstly
Linking Words
 gradually,
then
Linking Words
growth
Replace the word
grew
show examples
 significantly from 15 to 55. Meanwhile, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 musical performance in 2005, was
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the lowest level in the illustration, but in 2010, the rate started increasing substantially.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the number of participants who prefer dramatics reduced moderately in 2005, and reached the fewest
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 over the given time record.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the rate of martial arts fluctuated and was in the middle of
Use synonyms
chart
Add an article
the chart
show examples
 during
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 between 2000 and 2020.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "substantially" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: