IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that in the future, environmental problems will mean that we are unable to live on this planet. In order to survive, the human species will need to find another planet that can support life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that we will no longer be able to live on the earth because environmental issues have become much more serious;
hence
Linking Words
, we need to find another
planet
Use synonyms
 to live
.
Change preposition
on.
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 I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because there are many alternatives to save our
planet
Use synonyms
 and the proposed solution requires a lot of money.
Firstly
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, there are several options to save our world and environment.
People
Use synonyms
 can easily start
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 changing behaviours and the way they consume natural resources,
such
Linking Words
 as using reusable materials
instead
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 of plastic choices or replacing
old engine
Add a hyphen
old-engine
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 cars with electric vehicles.
Moreover
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, governments can enforce individuals by imposing strict policies,
for example
Linking Words
, sorting waste, recycling used products, or even decreasing taxes for eco-friendly products. These tiny changes will extend the life expectancy of our
planet
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.
Secondly
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,
due to
Linking Words
an
Correct article usage
the
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 enormous amount of money needed to spend on
a
Remove the article
apply
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space exploration, it might not be a
worth
Replace the word
worthy
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 decision.
Instead
Linking Words
 of excessively investing
on
Change preposition
in
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 finding another
planet
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
's quality of life can be improved by managing funds wisely.
For instance
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,
while
Linking Words
 it probably costs more than a million
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
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 for only
one-time
Correct article usage
a one-time
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 exploration, its results might not be
satisfied
Replace the word
satisfactory
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. If governments allocate budgets to develop basic infrastructure, housing systems, and education,
this
Linking Words
 will directly benefit citizens' lives, leading to comprehensive national development. In conclusion,
although
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the only way to survive in the future is to find a new
planet
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 to live as the earth is going to be an unlivable place, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 approach. We can still save our world by changing our habits.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
a
Remove the article
apply
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space exploration can cost
millions
Add an article
a millions
show examples
Change preposition
of dollar
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dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
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,
governments
Correct word choice
and governments
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 and authorities should prioritize
people
Use synonyms
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
explotation
Correct your spelling
exploration
.

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task achievement
Make sure to include a clear and specific statement of your position in your introduction, which helps set the tone for your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
In paragraphs, ensure that each idea flows logically to the next, using linking words and phrases to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Consider giving a stronger conclusion that summarizes the main arguments more forcefully and reiterates your position clearly.
task achievement
Good use of examples to illustrate the points made, especially regarding changes in behaviors and government policies.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs that each address a main idea.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental degradation
  • sustainable development
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • biodiversity loss
  • climate change
  • greenhouse gases
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • habitable planets
  • space colonization
  • terraforming
  • ethical dilemmas
  • resource allocation
  • technological advancements
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