Today, the lifespan of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older people should continue to be involved in the workforce. To what extent do you agree or disagree. [V2]

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Nowadays, people tend to live longer than in the past, leading some to suggest that older

individuals

Use synonyms

should remain in the workforce.

While

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their experience can be extremely valuable in decision-making, retaining them in employment during their later years may limit opportunities for younger generations.

For instance

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, it could lead to increased youth unemployment and delays in promotions, as senior positions remain occupied.

On the other hand

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, continued work can offer physical and mental health benefits for older adults, helping them stay active and engaged.

Therefore

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while

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there are both advantages and disadvantages, a balanced approach is essential.

To begin

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with, older

individuals

Use synonyms

have spent more years in the industry than younger people, which gives them a significant advantage in terms of experience.

This

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depth of knowledge often positions them as effective leaders and decision-makers in their fields.

For instance

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, many successful CEOs and founders have built their expertise over decades, allowing them to navigate complex business environments more effectively.

Additionally

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, continuing to work at an older age encourages mental engagement and long-term planning, which can contribute to sustained motivation and cognitive health. In order to maintain an active professional lifestyle, older employees

also

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tend to prioritize physical exercise, which benefits their

overall

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well-being and ability to perform their roles.

On the other hand

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, for younger employees, older workers can sometimes become an obstacle to career advancement. When older

individuals

Use synonyms

remain in senior positions for extended periods, it delays promotions and opportunities for younger professionals.

As a result

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, younger workers may struggle to progress in their careers, which can affect their ability to support their families and plan for the future. In conclusion,

while

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older

individuals

Use synonyms

may still be capable of working, their continued presence in high-level roles can create challenges for the younger generation. It may lead to fewer job openings and increased unemployment among young professionals, ultimately affecting their quality of life.

gurvirsingh.academicSun Apr 13 2025

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task achievement

Consider further exploring the effects of an aging workforce on the economy and society as a whole to strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Provide a clearer transition between points to enhance the flow of ideas distinctly throughout the essay.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced view, acknowledging both sides of the argument effectively. This contributes to a high task achievement score.

coherence and cohesion

The use of examples from industry (like CEOs and founders) makes your argument compelling and relevant. This is a strong point in your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

314 words

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Today, the lifespan of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older people should continue to be involved in the workforce. To what extent do you agree or disagree. [V2]

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advanced technology which can prevent and solve the crime. Do you agree or disagree?

The leaders or directors of organizations are often elderly people. However some say that young people can also take the lead of organisations or companies. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

More and more people nowadays visit well-known places to take photographs of themselves, without looking at the place. Why do you think this is happening? Is it a positive or a negative Trend?