Computer games are very popular in all ages and nations. Parents think it has little educational value and more harmful effects. What is your opinion about this? Give an example based on your own experience.

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Nowadays,
computer
Use synonyms
and mobile
games
Use synonyms
are very popular among all ages.Each of us used to play any of them on
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
road trip,plane,or
while
Linking Words
waiting in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
line.Gaming may be a
hobbie
Correct your spelling
hobby
hobbies
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or even a
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
job.Parents often use iPads,phones or computers to distract their children.But are there any
harmfull
Correct your spelling
harmful
effects? Let's dive into
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
and figure it out. In my opinion,it's always
importand
Correct your spelling
important
to find a balance for your kid.Of
cource
Correct your spelling
course
,in modern society you cannot leave your child without a phone or a tablet,but,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the other hand,you can limit their actions and
Use synonyms
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
they spend playing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
games
Use synonyms
.So,you can always
controll
Correct your spelling
control
theyr
Correct your spelling
their
actions,depending on your own decisions. A good example of
this
Linking Words
is my family.My brother and I had only one
computer
Use synonyms
in the house,so we used to fight for it and spend hours in our
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
games
Use synonyms
,until my father set the password for each of us,and configured a
one hour a day
Add a hyphen
one-hour-a-day
show examples
limit for the
games
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
,we could only use the
computer
Use synonyms
for education the rest of the
time
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
,he could control the limits,so we got more
time
Use synonyms
for
games
Use synonyms
if we deserved it.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other hand,
games
Use synonyms
may have some
aducation
Correct your spelling
education
educational
value.There are many of them created for 3-
5 years old
Correct your spelling
5-year-old
children,where they can explore the world,learn words and languages,or even create
a music
Remove the article
music
a piece of music
show examples
while
Linking Words
playing on-screen piano.You can always find something interesting in adult
games
Use synonyms
,with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great
scenario
Fix the agreement mistake
scenarios
show examples
and important decisions that may be
Correct article usage
a handfull
show examples
handfull
Correct your spelling
handful
in real life.And,as I mentioned above,it can be a well
payed
Correct your spelling
paid
show examples
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
job.Who knows,maybe your son will join a professional team one day. Taking everything into account,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
can't say that
computer
Use synonyms
gaming is more
harmfull
Correct your spelling
harmful
than any other activity.
Moreover
Linking Words
,it is probably safer than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
football or other outdoor activities.But,it can run out of
controll
Correct your spelling
control
if you won't pay attention to your
child
Change noun form
child's
show examples
virtual life.

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay can benefit from clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments. Additionally, try to ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next, using linking words more effectively.
task achievement
Make sure to include a concluding paragraph that summarizes your main points and clearly states your opinion again. This will help reinforce your argument and provide a satisfying closure to your essay.
language accuracy
Work on spelling and grammar accuracy, particularly with commonly misspelled words and punctuation. This will enhance the clarity of your ideas and expressions.
task achievement
Your use of personal experience to support your argument adds depth to your essay and makes it more relatable. This is a strong point of your writing.
task achievement
You present a balanced view of the topic, acknowledging both the positive and negative aspects of gaming, which shows critical thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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