Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Several people wonder whether

competitive

Correct article usage

a competitive

show examples

society has benefits or drawbacks. In fact, many citizens believe that competitive daily life including working and studying is good.

In contrast

Linking Words

, some of them think that those competitions cause disadvantages to our world.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss

this

Linking Words

question.

To begin

Linking Words

with my ideas, I will write about a fact that could

Wrong verb form

show examples

surprisingly interesting.

According to

Linking Words

Christianity

Replace the word

Christian

show examples

belief, the god created first two

human

Change to a plural noun

humans

show examples

whose names were Adam and Eve

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

long time ago. After that, a number of their children were born.

However

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

god made them become competitive people because of his opinion. Absolutely, he thought that those aggressive minds

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

create competition which

leaded

Correct your spelling

led

show examples

to evolution.

Thus

Linking Words

, he believed that

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

in the society will have

well being

Add a hyphen

well-being

show examples

that came from development.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, that mindset could bring a terrible issue to our nation. Obviously, what the trouble had caused to the world for infinite times. Since the Homo sapiens

were creates

Change the verb form

were created

show examples

by the god, there were various arguments which had come from those merciless thinking.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, they will

form

Verb problem

cause

show examples

many huge troubles

Change preposition

for

show examples

our planet.

Additionally

Linking Words

, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

some weird chaos from terrible minds

such

Linking Words

as wars. Every war in the past came from arguments which were despair.

Therefore

Linking Words

, people believe that we should prefer cooperating, rather than fighting each other. In conclusion, competition in society has both pros and cons.

While

Linking Words

it drives progress and development, it can

also

Linking Words

lead to conflicts and chaos.

Therefore

Linking Words

, finding a balance between competition and cooperation is essential for a peaceful and wonderful world.

chanthidasenSun Apr 13 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Be mindful of the clarity and logic in your arguments. Ensure each point is clearly developed and directly relates back to the main question.

coherence and cohesion

Organize your ideas into clear paragraphs with each paragraph focused on one main idea. This will improve the flow and readability of your essay.

task achievement

Consider integrating more specific examples or real-life contexts to support your arguments more robustly. This will help make your points more convincing.

coherence and cohesion

Pay attention to language accuracy and effectiveness. Revising some sentences for grammar and clarity can enhance overall quality.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is critical in a discussion-oriented essay.

coherence and cohesion

You have a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points effectively, indicating your understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

265 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Many people nowadays spend a large of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think is is a positive or negative developement?
In modern life smartphones play a crucial role in human activity. While the overuse of these devices may lead to negative effects, they also bring significant benefits, such as helping us stay connected with family and friends.
8
band
In many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first months after the birth of their babies. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Many countries around the world are experiencing a decline in birth rates. In response, governments and various organizations are encouraging women to have children by offering a range of benefits, including maternity leave. In this essay, I will share my thoughts on the advantages and disadvantages of this initiative.
7
band
Nowadays, more and more people from different cities are spending more time away from their families. What are the possible reasons and the effects on the people themselve and their families?
In modern life, increasing people tend to spend lots of time away from their families. Due to studying with good quality and cutting-edge equipment in order to broaden lots of academic skills as well as gain some success in their life, people choose to stay far away from their families. Regarding their influence , people can learn how to live without receiving assistance from their parents like paying the bills, cooking or cleaning the house.
7
band
Some people think that professional sports players earn too much salary, especially when they do not seem to help peopleand societies the way people of other occupations such as doctors, teachers, and soldiers do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Professional athletes' salaries are sometimes argued in terms of their amount; it is said to be too high, despite their perceived lack of direct social contributions compared to professions like doctors and teachers. I totally disagree with this opinion from the perspective of the social function of sports and the length of their professional period.
7
band
Nowadays, tourists and scientists are allowed to travel to remote natural environments. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answers and include example from your own experience?
Tourism plays a vital role in the economy. Nowadays people are more interested in adventure tours. They take time from work and travel to faraway places to explore the unexplored. I believe, If we continue to see this development, it will thrive the local economy.

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Fully explain your ideas

Many people nowadays spend a large of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think is is a positive or negative developement?

In many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first months after the birth of their babies. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, more and more people from different cities are spending more time away from their families. What are the possible reasons and the effects on the people themselve and their families?

Some people think that professional sports players earn too much salary, especially when they do not seem to help peopleand societies the way people of other occupations such as doctors, teachers, and soldiers do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, tourists and scientists are allowed to travel to remote natural environments. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answers and include example from your own experience?