IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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It is believed that it is crucial to have some sort of savings throughout your
life
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 and
this
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 includes all individuals, especially younger ones. I strongly agree with
such
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concept
Correct article usage
a concept
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 as money is something we all can not survive without, literally.  Having the mindset of saving money could account
as
Change preposition
for
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 being very beneficial for various reasons. It could mean a stable and safe
life
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 avoiding any
life
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 crisis, for say. If one is to
under go
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undergo
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 a car accident, a health problem or even a failed business all could be resolved if one had a backup. Others think about saving cash to buy what is essential,
for
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example
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example,
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 a house or a car in order
to begin
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 a family or raise children. All
in
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of
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 which concludes the idea of smart savings. Young generations tend to be more enthusiastic and carefree they barely think about their future. Many love to live in the present rather than planning ahead. Which brings them to being in debt or not being about to pay their tuition bills.
In addition
Linking Words
,
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of adolescents take
part time
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part-time
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 jobs in order to cover their expenses on top of their students which could be quite
stressfull
Correct your spelling
stressful
. Having a balanced
in come
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income
show examples
 could mean a better quality of
life
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. It is fine to live in the moment and enjoy your time but never forget how important it is to have a
stablized
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stabilized
stabilised
life
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 ahead of you.

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task achievement
The introduction could be more engaging. Consider rephrasing the opening to clearly state your opinion right away without using phrases like 'it is believed.'
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas flow logically from one to the other. For example, linking the consequences of not saving money to the previous paragraph would enhance coherence.
task achievement
In your examples, consider making them more detailed or specific. Instead of saying 'a health problem,' you might specify 'an unexpected medical emergency,' which would add depth to your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid run-on sentences for better clarity. The sentence 'Young generations tend to be more enthusiastic and carefree they barely think about their future.' can be split into two sentences to enhance readability.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion could summarize the main points discussed earlier more effectively and restate your opinion more strongly, reinforcing the importance of saving money.
task achievement
The essay expresses a clear position on the topic, and your agreement with the importance of saving money is evident throughout.
task achievement
You provide a variety of reasons why saving money is beneficial, which shows depth in your understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your use of examples, such as buying a house or car and the financial struggles of young people, adds relevance to your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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