Some people believe that what children watch on television influences their behaviour. Others say that amount of time spent watching television influences their behavior. Dis.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Today some people believe that if

children

Use synonyms

watch on

tvelevision

Correct your spelling

television

influences their

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

difenatly

Correct your spelling

defiantly

if the

children

Use synonyms

watch

Use synonyms

televison

Correct your spelling

television

without

Use synonyms

time

Correct article usage

a time

show examples

limit

Use synonyms

actually they will continue watching they will not care about

Add an article

the study

show examples

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

Wrong verb form

doing

show examples

sports and

spent

Change the form of the verb

spending

show examples

time

Use synonyms

with their families , that will make the kids feeling Autistic .

Change preposition

show examples

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

others say that

amount

Correct article usage

the amount

show examples

time

Use synonyms

spent watching

Use synonyms

televison

Correct your spelling

television

Linking Words

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is better than

watch

Wrong verb form

watching

show examples

without

Use synonyms

limit

Correct article usage

a limit

show examples

also

Linking Words

they will know they have a

limit

Use synonyms

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

moreover

Linking Words

they will sechdual the day . in

additon

Correct your spelling

addition

if the

children

Use synonyms

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time

Use synonyms

without

limit

Use synonyms

, they will not be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social with friends and families

also

Linking Words

in school they will not

foucs

Correct your spelling

focus

Change preposition

show examples

their

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

that will

efect

Correct your spelling

effect

affect

in them when they grow , they will not make

realtionships

Correct your spelling

relationships

new friends ,

that is

Linking Words

why we must

foucs

Correct your spelling

focus

with them when they young , teach new skills , how to be friendly , spent a

time

Use synonyms

with family and enhance their study levels

however

Linking Words

they will watch tv but with

limit

Use synonyms

time

Use synonyms

and watch the tv show have a

benfits

Correct your spelling

benefits

Change preposition

show examples

another

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

hand

Correct word choice

other hand

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Correct your spelling

families

familis

Correct your spelling

families

that give their

children

Use synonyms

amount

Correct article usage

a amount

show examples

time

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

everyday

everday

Correct your spelling

ever

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

watching

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

television

televison

Correct your spelling

television

Linking Words

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is the best way to

influences

Wrong verb form

influence

show examples

their behavior to be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Correct your spelling

natural

natrual

Correct your spelling

natural

Linking Words

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

time

Use synonyms

with their family

Linking Words

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

to study in my

opinion

Use synonyms

that is

Linking Words

the best way to teach the

children

Use synonyms

how to

Schedul

Correct your spelling

Schedule

their

week day

Correct your spelling

weekday

show examples

, actually spent

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

time

Use synonyms

whatcing

Correct your spelling

watching

tv that will effect by

minass

Correct your spelling

mass

miss

in their life , they will become tired

also

Linking Words

has a

proplem

Correct your spelling

problem

in their eyes

this

Linking Words

is my own

opinion

Use synonyms

finally

Linking Words

that

Linking Words

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

graph

show

Change the verb form

shows

show examples

how we must

Schedual

Correct your spelling

Schedule

the

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

times to be more friendly . and get away from

feel

Wrong verb form

feeling

show examples

Correct your spelling

lonely

lonley

Correct your spelling

lonely

Correct your spelling

because

beacuse

Correct your spelling

because

if they

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time

Use synonyms

without care that will influence

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their life , in my

Use synonyms

opinion

Add the comma(s)

opinion,

show examples

the best thing is to

limit

Use synonyms

the

time

Use synonyms

for

watch

Replace the word

watching

show examples

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

television

televison

Correct your spelling

television

, phone ,

playstaitons

Correct your spelling

PlayStation

this

Linking Words

is my own

opinion

Use synonyms

abd1979allaSun Apr 13 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Make sure to clearly present your main arguments and support them with specific examples or explanations. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea.

coherence and cohesion

Improve your sentence structure and grammar for better clarity. Proper punctuation and word usage will enhance the readability of your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. Summarize your main points in the conclusion to reinforce your argument.

content

You have shown a good understanding of the topic and presented different viewpoints.

content

Your attempt to address both sides of the argument is commendable, showing that you can engage with different perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
72
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

339 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Is it true that electronic devices are the major source of entertainment nowadays? As a matter of fact, many a man reckons that entertaining through pocket devices such as mobile phones adversely affects our society. I partially agree with this notion as these devices have certain benefits which cannot be ignored. Let's discuss this in the following paragraphs.
7.5
band
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of the technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make ? has this become a positive or negetive developement ?
In our contemporary era, the means, methods, and types of equipment which can be used to communicate have altered significantly due to technological advancements in the recent century.
7
band
While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, there has been an increasing emphasis on academic study through university education, often at the expense of vocational training. I agree that more people should be encouraged to pursue vocational training, as there is a growing shortage of skilled workers such as electricians and plumbers, which has significant implications for society.
6
band
Some people believe that a gap year between school and university is a good idea, while others disagree strongly. Consider both sides of this debate and present your own opinion. You should give reasons for your answer and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience.
Taking a gap year between school and university is a common topic for the young that divides opinions. Some people strongly believe it provides valuable time for reflection and work experience, while others often argue it delays academic and professional progress. This essay will explore both viewpoints and present my own opinion.
6
band
You recently want to a concert and thought one of the singers was very good. You want to tell him how you feel. Write a letter to the singer, In your letter say how you feel about his performance give details of your musical activities explain how you would like him to help you with your musical activities
I'm writing to thank you for your great demonstration last night at the concert hall.

Some people believe that what children watch on television influences their behaviour. Others say that amount of time spent watching television influences their behavior. Dis.

Fully explain your ideas

The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of the technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make ? has this become a positive or negetive developement ?

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that a gap year between school and university is a good idea, while others disagree strongly. Consider both sides of this debate and present your own opinion. You should give reasons for your answer and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience.