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Writing Samples
Band 6

The two bar charts below show the proportion of 14-to 16-year-old students studying a foreign language in an English speaking country, and the top three foreign languages. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two bar charts below show the proportion of 14-to 16-year-old students studying a foreign language in an English speaking country, and the top three foreign languages. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The information presented in the charts gives us an insight into the percentage of 14 to 16 year aged English native students learning
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 and the ratio of
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 three preferred languages.
Overall
Linking Words
,it is evident that the fraction of learning foreign languages by girls was at the top in both years and French was widely opted by most of the students. Looking in detail, the proportion of girls learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 was up to 59 in 1984
then
Linking Words
 there was a minimal decrease to 40% in 2007.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, boys studying
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 was 30% in 1984 but in 2007 there was a slight decrement to 27%.
Hence
Linking Words
 , gal students are more likely to study different languages apart from their native
language
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, french
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 selected by most of the graduates as their interest with 50% in 1984
while
Linking Words
then
Linking Words
 plunged to 32% in 2007 still stood in
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
first place.
However
Linking Words
,
german
Fix the agreement mistake
Germany
show examples
 with 20% in 1984 but there was a gradual rise to 25% in 2007.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Spanish was least considered with 4% in 1984
then
Linking Words
 had a noticeable increase to 10% in 2007.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words language with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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