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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The two charts below outline the statistically most desirable countries in terms of quality of life and reasons for migration. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The two charts below outline the statistically most desirable countries in terms of quality of life and reasons for migration. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line and pie graph illustrate the standard of living and reasons for relocation in the United Kingdom from 2000 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 a large number of people lived in the UK for about 2
years
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
 a few
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
temporary residents stayed for 2 to 4
years
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in 2008,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of individuals lived because of their work or studies
whereas
Linking Words
 less than 10% stayed for no reason. Over the period of 8
years
Use synonyms
, the population which resided for more than 4
years
Use synonyms
 in the
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 accounted for 1.5 lakh
while
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 the ratio of immigrants staying for 2 to 4
years
Use synonyms
 was around 50000 till 2007
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 it doubled in next year to 1 lakh.
Additionally
Linking Words
, almost 150 thousand
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
immigrants stayed for 24 months until 2001 after that the ratio significantly increased to 250 thousand in 2004 and remained steady for the next 4
years
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, in the year 2008, there were 38%
employees
Change preposition
of employees
show examples
 relocated to the United Kingdom and 32% immigrants for their studies.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the percentage of migrated families was 15% in the year 2008.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
, 7% of the relocated population was for other reasons and
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 ratio for undocumented migrants.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 3 times.
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