IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

There are now millions of cars on roads in most big cities. Pollution from cars is the most important problem that big cities face today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, most individuals own a car and
due to
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this
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 most people believe that
pollution
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 from cars is the most important problem that big cities face. I partially agree with the suggestion as
pollution
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 is amongst the biggest problems that cities face.
To begin
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 with, with millions of vehicles on the road, these automobiles leave a carbon footprint.
Although
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 the carbon footprint from a single vehicle is insignificant, the quantity of vehicles makes it a prominent issue.
Moreover
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, these harmful gases result in the greenhouse effect and
also
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 play an important role in rising sea levels.
However
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, there are other equally important problems
such
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 as
noise
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pollution
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 and
traffic
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 congestion.
Noise
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pollution
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 is the biggest contributing factor in stopping development.
For instance
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, both workplace and school struggle to maintain focus and determination in the
noise
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 and
this
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 hinders their productivity and learning ability.
Furthermore
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, most people are working nowadays and to reach their destination they have to leave homes very early the optimal time in order to compensate for
traffic
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 delays.
This
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, in turn, requires them to wake up earlier than needed which degrades their mental and physical health
due to
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 poor sleep and rest. In conclusion, I believe that
pollution
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 is a significant problem for cities to tackle,
however
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,
noise
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pollution
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 and
traffic
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 congestion are more prominent ones.
Noise
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pollution
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 can affect hearing abilities and
traffic
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 congestion can ultimately get employees fired.

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task achievement
Your introduction presents the main idea clearly, but consider rephrasing 'most individuals own a car' to 'a significant majority of people'. This could make your argument more precise.
coherence and cohesion
The way you transition between ideas is mostly logical, but to enhance coherence, consider using more linking phrases or words (e.g., 'In addition,' 'Moreover,' etc.). This would help the flow of your essay.
task achievement
In the body paragraphs, ensure that each point is directly tied back to your main argument. For instance, you mentioned noise pollution and traffic congestion, but elaborate on how they connect to the overall theme of pollution problems.
content quality
You have a clear stance and effectively present both sides of the argument, demonstrating critical thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emissions
  • greenhouse gases
  • climate change
  • air quality
  • traffic congestion
  • urban areas
  • smog
  • public health
  • respiratory problems
  • noise pollution
  • mental health
  • industrial emissions
  • deforestation
  • waste management
  • technological advancements
  • policy interventions
  • electric vehicles
  • emission regulations
  • urban environments
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