IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think newspaper is the most effective way to obtain the latest information because it has more influence than other forms of media. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some people prefer to access the latest
information
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 from
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 since they feel
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 more
influencing
Replace the word
influential
show examples
 rather than any
media
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,
however
Linking Words
 nowadays other forms
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media
Change preposition
of media
show examples
 have developed a lot, especially electronic
media
Use synonyms
 like
television
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 and social
media
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. I personally disagree that
Use synonyms
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more
influencing
Replace the word
influential
show examples
 as
resource
Add an article
a resource
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 of
information
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 rather than any
forms
Fix the agreement mistake
form
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 of
media
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. First and foremost, other
media
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 like
television
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 and social
media
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more accessible nowadays rather than
Use synonyms
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
.
Television
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 and social
media
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 provide live
information
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for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
24 hours for everyone and they can access it anywhere, different
than
Change preposition
from
show examples
Use synonyms
Add an article
a newspaper
the newspaper
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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require
Change the verb form
requires
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 us to go to
distributor
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a distributor
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 first or some store first to get the
newspaper
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.
For example
Linking Words
, if an accident
happen
Change the verb form
happens
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 at 23.59 pm, the
media
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 like social
media
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 and
television
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 would share the news
live
Replace the word
life
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 or maybe 1 hour or 2 hours later,
whereas
Linking Words
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Correct article usage
the newspaper
show examples
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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share
those
Change the determiner
that information
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information
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 within 1 or 2 days.
This
Linking Words
 means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
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newspaper
Add an article
the newspaper
a newspaper
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 is not the most effective
media
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 to get the most recent
information
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 less interactive
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to electronic
media
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 (
television
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) or social
media
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.
Innformation
Correct your spelling
Information
 in
television
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 and social
media
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 nowadays mostly
delivered
Wrong verb form
delivers
show examples
 using video format so it’s more attractive and
influencing
Replace the word
influential
show examples
 to audiences.
Moreover
Linking Words
, social
media
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 not only
has one
Wrong verb form
have
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way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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communication
Change preposition
of communication
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 to deliver the
information
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,
they
Correct word choice
but they
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have
Rephrase
also have
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 various
format
Fix the agreement mistake
formats
show examples
, like photo, live streaming,
video
Correct word choice
and video
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, that give audiences
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
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 to respond and give
the
Correct article usage
apply
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feedback towards the
information
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 that people share
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social
media
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.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand,
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 only provide text format and
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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 not allow readers or audiences to give comments or feedback towards the
information
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, electronic
media
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 and social
media
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 isfar more attractive and
influencing
Replace the word
influential
show examples
 rather than
Use synonyms
Add an article
a newspaper
show examples
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
, because not only get the
information
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 people
also
Linking Words
could
Verb problem
apply
show examples
respond to the
information
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 delivered by those
media
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.

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task achievement
Clarify your main argument in the introduction to strengthen the thesis statement. Briefly outline the main points you will discuss in the essay, which helps guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Add a concluding paragraph that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. A strong conclusion helps reinforce your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance readability and engagement. This can improve the overall flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure tense consistency throughout the essay. Pay attention to the use of present and past tenses to avoid confusion.
content
You effectively present your argument against newspapers by comparing them with electronic media strengths, which demonstrates clear critical thinking.
content
You provide relevant examples to support your points, such as the speed of news delivery, which strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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