Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and teamwork are more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some individuals argue that youngsters must learn how to become a competitive person in school,
while
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others assert that cooperation and
tramwork
Correct your spelling
teamwork
are more important. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both views and conclude with my perspective. On one hand, being a competitive person can provide a brighter future for the younger generation.
Due to
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over-population and
unemployement
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unemployment
, it is harsh for graduated students, who do not have adequate experience, to find jobs.
As a result
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, competition and basic knowledge
has
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have
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become crucial
value
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values
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for them. Particularly,
people
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for people
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who want to be more outstanding in job markets,
such
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factors are necessary.
Therefore
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, we cannot ignore how important it is,
also
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it can be
a
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an
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entrance ticket for their career lives.
On the other hand
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, a cooperative person always is admired by managers who work
at
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in
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high positions
of
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in
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international
company
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companies
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;
therefore
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, cooperation can definitely offer than longer career lifetime. Because of technological advancement, employees have to work together and innovate new products which
means
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apply
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may prevent them from
substitute
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being substitute
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by
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with
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artifical intellgence
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artificial intelligence
tools.
Consequently
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, these abilities and skills are useful during a business project or in a career environment. In conclusion, both competition and cooperation are vital,
however
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,
to be
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being
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more competitive can truly
assit
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assist
students
to get
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in getting
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the
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their
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first job opportunities. They can learn how to become a helpful
teamworker
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worker
when they are employed. In my opinion, enhancing competition is something
should
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that should
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be prioritized when teenagers are learning
in
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on
show examples
campus.

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task achievement
The essay presents a clear position; however, providing more specific examples to illustrate your points would strengthen the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs clearly refer to one main idea each time, which helps the reader follow your argument logically.
coherence and cohesion
Minor grammatical errors and typos should be corrected as they can distract from your message. Proofreading for clarity can help improve your score.
task achievement
The introduction effectively sets up the discussion and outlines your intent to address both sides of the argument.
task achievement
You have successfully presented both views, showing an understanding of different perspectives on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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