IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Crime rates are likely to decline due to the advancements in technology, which will help prevent and solve crimes in an easier way. Do you agree or disagree?

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In the present day, crime rates are the most crucial issue that individuals always put on a public discussion. Of course, it seems to decrease because of the development of new technologies in
this
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 modern world
such
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 as digital cameras, GPS, CCTV, and AI scanners which assist all police officers in preventing and solving crimes easily.
In
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This
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this
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 essay will discuss my point of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
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 following the agreements and disagreements. First of all, It is not only about using new technologies but
also
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 searching for information from technologies, including Chatgpt, Gemini, and Copilot.
People
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 can check all the information or find details about the criminals which will occur everywhere.
Moreover
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, placing digital cameras like CCTV in important areas can be the best choice for preventing crimes
while
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also
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 solving the problems for residents or citizens in the country.
For example
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,
people
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 who have bags stolen or lost their accessories can go to the police station to look at the record camera and report to the police officer.
Furthermore
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, with the advancements of new
technology
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 GPS is the modern and fast way to get to the destination of burglars, shopkeepers, and robbers because
people
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 just use information through
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 advanced
technology
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.
On the other hand
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, some arguments discuss the advancement of
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 new
technology
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while
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 many criminals always happen from using
technology
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 to cheat
people
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 or to encourage
people
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 to believe in an unreal story.
For instance
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, all scammers use their cell phones with video calls
as well as
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 using the real background to make
people
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 believe it is true. It makes many
people
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 get into trouble because of modern
technology
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, AI make-up cameras which cannot separate who is the real person. In conclusion, applying or integrating the advancement of new
technology
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 in solving crime happening in the country should be considered seriously, and
make
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apply
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a balance of choice using
as well as
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 think about the benefits and drawbacks of using it.

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task achievement
Enhance the introduction to clearly state your position and outline the main points that will be discussed in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences lack clarity due to grammar issues. Make sure to proofread for grammar and punctuation to enhance readability.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences in body paragraphs to guide the reader on what to expect in that section.
task achievement
Deepen your analysis by providing more examples that illustrate both perspectives in more detail.
task achievement
You have identified relevant technologies that impact crime rates, showcasing your awareness of the topic.
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