IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some believe that the government should support artists like musicians, painters, and poets, while others argue that this is a misuse of funds. Discuss both views and give your

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Nowadays, some people think, people who create forms of
arrt
Correct your spelling
art
 should be funded by the government.
However
Linking Words
, there are others who argue that it can waste of financial resources. In
this
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
essay
esay
Add a comma
esay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will look into both views on
this
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 matter and give my opinion. On the one hand, supporting
artists
Use synonyms
 is a good
decicison
Correct your spelling
decision
 which can benefit a lot. The main argument is that
this
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 can help protect
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
culture.
This
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 is a reason, if we do not save culture, it will disappear.
In other words
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, almost all
art
Use synonyms
 forms are different parts of cultural heritage which represents a unique feature of
a
Change the article
an
show examples
anation
Correct your spelling
nation
show examples
.
That is
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 why,
spend
Wrong verb form
by spending
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moneys
Change the wording
money
amounts of money
sums of money
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the work of
artists
Use synonyms
, we can make sure that they create a lot of
art
Use synonyms
 forms
continuous
Change the word
continuously
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 which can
keep
Verb problem
last
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 a long time of these arts.
For example
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, Uzbekistan has been investing
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 pottery
and
Correct word choice
apply
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it main sort of
art
Use synonyms
 in
this
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 country. On the
otger
Correct your spelling
other
 hand, other people believe, that spending a huge number of money
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
artists
Use synonyms
 is
considering
Wrong verb form
considered
show examples
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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money
Change preposition
of money
show examples
 from state
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
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. They think
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the government should not invest in musicians and poets. they have to channel investments to the sport. Because sport is becoming famous day by day. Sport makes
this
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 country
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
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art
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
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,
although
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 supporting
artists
Use synonyms
 can play an important role in preserving culture,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think there are important works
such
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 as healthcare and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 that need the government.

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spelling
Work on spelling errors to improve overall clarity (e.g., 'arrt' should be 'art', and 'decicison' should be 'decision').
structure
Consider improving sentence structure to enhance flow and readability. For instance, simplify complex sentences and ensure logical connections between them.
examples
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. More detailed examples can make your points clearer and more convincing.
perspective
The essay presents both views of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • cultural diversity
  • innovation
  • creativity
  • trickle-down effect
  • national pride
  • artistic independence
  • government funding
  • taxpayer burden
  • compromise integrity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: