IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010
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the bar illustrates the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 spent on five consumer goods namely:
cars
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, computers, books, perfume and
cameras
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 in
France
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 and the
UK
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 in 2010 measured
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 pounds sterling.
overall
Linking Words
, both countries spent more
money
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 on
cars
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whereas
Linking Words
least
Correct article usage
the least
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 amount of
money
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 was spent on perfume in the
UK
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 compared to
cameras
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 in
France
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the most significant difference in expenditure between
2
Correct article usage
the 2
show examples
countries was on
cameras
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. in terms of
cars
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 people in
Use synonyms
uk
Correct your spelling
UK
 spent more than 450k
while
Linking Words
French
Correct article usage
the French
show examples
 spent 400k on
cars
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.
similiarly
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Similarly
 the
british
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British
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 expenditure was higher on books than the French around 400k and 300k
accordingly
Linking Words
. in the
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uk
Correct your spelling
UK
 expenditure on
cameras
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 is sharply higher than
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France
Change preposition
in France
show examples
 which was 150k. Focusing on
other
Correct word choice
apply
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the amount of
money
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 paid on other goods, French was higher. French spent about 380k on computers which was slightly more than
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
 who spent exactly 350k.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, perfume was the least popular item in both countries, but
France
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 still spent more (£200,000) than the
UK
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 (under £150,000).

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, cars, cameras, france, uk, k with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • consumer goods
  • chart
  • countries
  • overall
  • compare
  • analyze
  • categories
  • consumer spending
  • trends
  • proportions
  • statistics
  • increase
  • decrease
  • significant
  • notable
  • remarkable
  • substantial
  • considerable
  • determine
  • conclude
  • in conclusion
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