IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below gives information about the journeys to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in a year.

The chart below gives information about the journeys to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in a year.
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The bar illustrates how
children
Use synonyms
 aged 11 to 16 in the UK travel to
school
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, classified by
distance
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 ranges from 0–1
miles
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 to over 5
miles
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. The types of transport considered are walking, cycling, car, and
bus
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, walking is the most common type of transport for short distances ,
while
Linking Words
 the using of the
bus
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 is more suitable as the
distance
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 increases. Cars are used for mid-range distances, and cycling is used mostly for short and medium journeys. 90%
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children
Change preposition
of children
show examples
 walk
school
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 0-1
miles
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distance
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, making it the most common mod.
this
Linking Words
 ratio
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
distance
Correct article usage
the distance
show examples
 getting
increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 percentage
stand
Correct subject-verb agreement
stands
show examples
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 60%
first,
Linking Words
then
Linking Words
 it
decrease
Change the verb form
decreases
show examples
nearly
Change preposition
by nearly
show examples
 25%.
in contrast
Linking Words
,
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bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
 rarely
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 in short range but when
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distance
Correct article usage
the distance
show examples
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 longer,
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of
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bus
Add an article
the bus
a bus
show examples
is increase
Wrong verb form
increases
show examples
almost
Change preposition
by almost
show examples
 70% for over 5
miles
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. looking at bicycle
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
children
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 who live far away from
school
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 1-2
miles
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 use
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
 mostly and the ratio of bicycle usage of
children
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 who live near
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school
Add an article
the school
a school
show examples
 and far from
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2-5
miles
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 is almost the same
stand
Replace the word
standing
show examples
 at 50%. for
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
 it
peaking
Wrong verb form
peaks
show examples
 at 30% for 2-5
miles
Use synonyms
, but
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
 is used less than 10% for 0-1
miles
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words children, school, distance, miles, bus with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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