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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people argue that increasing sports facility is the best way to improve public health. While, others believe that it will have very low effect on the public. Other measures should be taken. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion

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Many believe that active participation in
sports
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 leads to healthy and active bodies.
As a result
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, increasing
sports
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 amenities is the best way to improve public
health
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.
While
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, others
content
Correct your spelling
contend
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this
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 will not make much difference in improving public
health
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 and
instead
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, other measures should be taken to achieve the desired objectives.
This
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 essay will delve into both viewpoints, ultimately aligning with a balanced approach of increasing the
sports
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 facilities
as well as
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 taking other measures. There is no doubt that participation in games makes
people
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 not only physically active but
also
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 mentally strong.
Sports
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activiites
Correct your spelling
activities
 help
people
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 do vital exercises
as well as
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 burn more calories.
For example
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, we find all sportspersons
such
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 as Kohli, Ronaldo, or Messi to be incredibly fit and healthy. Increasing
sports
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 facilities will enable
people
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 to engage more in
sports
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activitees
Correct your spelling
activities
,
thus
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 making them healthier and
stonger
Correct your spelling
stronger
.
Additionally
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,
sports
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 centres give
platform
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a platform
show examples
 for like-minded
people
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 to connect and share common
sports
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 experiences, helping them to form a strong
bonding
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bond
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, which increases the emotional and mental well-being of individuals.
On the other hand
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, it cannot be assumed that playing
sports
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 is the only way to improve public
health
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. Many
people
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 like to do different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
exercies
Correct your spelling
exercises
exercise
such
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 as going to
gym
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the gym
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 or doing yoga at home. For them, increasing
sports
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 facilities may not help.
Furthermore
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, a robust public healthcare infrastructure requires a holistic approach with
inclusion
Correct article usage
the inclusion
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 of many other amenities
such
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 as nursing homes, hospitals, and rehabilitation centres to care for the sick and disabled. These measures are equally important for the public
health
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. In conclusion,
sports
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 infrastructure is crucial for
betterment
Add an article
the betterment
show examples
 of citizens'
health
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, but medical services are equally vital for public healthcare. So maintaining a fine balance between the two is best.

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language
Ensure varied sentence structures and correct spelling and word forms, such as 'activities' instead of 'activiites' and 'stronger' instead of 'stonger'.
content
Consider incorporating more specific examples, particularly in the second viewpoint, to strengthen your argument about the importance of other measures.
coherence
The essay presents a clear and well-defined structure, with distinct paragraphs for each viewpoint.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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