IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists and not local people. Why is this the case? What can be done to attract local people? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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Well, in
this
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 modern era, most community are forgetting their history so
exhibition
Fix the agreement mistake
exhibitions
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 are the pillar of every nation's history. So,
instead
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 of foreigners, local individuals are less interested in going over there.
Therefore
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, in
this
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 essay, I will
sharing
Change the verb form
share
be sharing
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 with you the reasons and the
solutions
Use synonyms
 to
this
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 problem.
Firstly
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, Nowadays art galleries are very crucial because here
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 can easily gain
the
Correct article usage
apply
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knowledge of their past but most of the local society do not go over there because the fares of the museum are too expensive for them
instead
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 of other countries individuals. So, they do not go over there.
Secondly
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,
instead
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 of going over there, they get the knowledge of their history from their elders so they think going over there is
waste
Add an article
a waste
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 of money which is the reason they do not go to museums. Here are the
solutions
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 to these problems,
Firstly
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 the government should decrease the price of museums for locals because with
this
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 they will go there without any tension of high prices which help them to gain more knowledge.
Secondly
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, the government should organize a campaign in which they know that they can get all the information about their past that their elders do not know so these are the
solutions
Use synonyms
 for these problems. In conclusion, museums are places where
population
Add an article
the population
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 can easily learn about their past but
due to
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 high
prices
Add a comma
prices,
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 locals do not go over there.
Therefore
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, the government should apply these
solutions
Use synonyms
 which
i
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I
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 discuss in the second paragraph.

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task achievement
Work on providing a clearer and more structured response to the task, ensuring that you thoroughly develop your ideas and support them with specific examples or explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity of your writing by organizing your ideas into more distinct paragraphs and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Correct minor grammatical errors, such as 'i' to 'I', and ensure consistency in tense usage to enhance readability.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and addresses both reasons for the lack of local interest and potential solutions.
task achievement
The intention to discuss solutions shows critical thinking about the problem presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • tourist attractions
  • interactive exhibits
  • perception
  • civic pride
  • engagement
  • community outreach
  • curate
  • cultural institutions
  • historical significance
  • sustainable tourism
  • resident benefits
  • local patronage
  • preserve
  • educational initiatives
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