In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on sustainable living and reducing environmental impact. What are the challenges of adopting a sustainable lifestyle? What practical actions can individuals take to contribute to sustainability?

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When talking about shopping as a hobby, I don’t think

this

Linking Words

is a positive trend as I believe overspending is not good for our environment. Yes, it is boosting our economy and helping distribute wealth across the population, but let’s think for a

while

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, especially when we put our finger on the screen of our phone trying to open Shopee or Tokopedia. Did the fact that they put A LOT of plastic to pack

theour

Correct your spelling

our

barely useful goods that we saw on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

TikTok Live doesn’t bother you??. In

this

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scenario,

while

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we selfishly fulfil our need to

feelof

Correct your spelling

feel of

feel

feeling triumph, we

also

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poison our kids and the environment with excessive waste. Another point of view is, that the fact that most of them are imported from overseas makes it worse. It kills our local industry, especially when it is related to recent issues about imported goods from China. They practically dump their goods, give their local factory incentive and subsidize the shipping cost for the sake of manipulating our market, so that our local product can no longer compete because it is simply more expensive and dies by itself.

This

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practice is called “dumping”. But even though I considered

this

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as not a good hobby to develop, I think when it comes to distributing wealth across the population, shopping hobbies can help our local entrepreneurs like

jewelry

Change the spelling

jewellery

show examples

artists in Lombok or shoemakers in Bandung thrive. People visiting places tend to bring something for their loved

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

in their

homeshome

Correct your spelling

homes

, so making shopping

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a hobby and putting it

together with

Linking Words

developing sustainable local industry certainly will make everyone benefit from it

while

Linking Words

helping our government boost and spread the economy across Indonesia.

raymond.sebastianvlTue Apr 15 2025

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coherence and cohesion

The introduction needs to clearly state your position on shopping as a hobby in a more structured way. Consider rephrasing for clarity.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion should more explicitly summarize the main points and state the final opinion regarding shopping as a hobby, emphasizing its pros and cons to tie everything together.

task achievement

Some ideas could be expanded further, particularly the practical actions individuals can take to contribute to sustainability. This will strengthen your response.

task achievement

Try to incorporate more specific examples of sustainable practices related to shopping that individuals can follow.

content

The essay includes multiple perspectives on the topic, which demonstrates critical thinking.

content

You have effectively identified the negative impacts of overspending and imported goods on local industries, which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

283 words

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In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on sustainable living and reducing environmental impact. What are the challenges of adopting a sustainable lifestyle? What practical actions can individuals take to contribute to sustainability?

Fully explain your ideas

In some counntries, the cost of living is rapidly increasing. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What effects might this have on society?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people aroung the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with others people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

The central government, the city government and individuals should all be responsible for protecting the environment. Do you agree or disagree?

The dangers and complexities of the modern world have made the mobile phone an absolute necessity for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?