IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You are living in a University residence, and you have a problem with the high levels of noise from a new campus restaurant which is open until midnight.

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Dear Mr John Wick I writing to express my dissatisfaction with the campus restaurant which is open until midnight and located under my accommodation. I have been at
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
 residence for 2 weeks. I have
came
Change the verb form
come
show examples
 here to improve my Japanese language skills.
Therefore
Linking Words
 I have decided to choose
this
Linking Words
 apartment because the windows are located opposite to the sea , after
hard
Add an article
a hard
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 day I come ,
seat
Correct your spelling
sit
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 and watch the gorgeous view .
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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 my flat is on the
3 rd
Correct your spelling
3rd
 floor
Linking Words
Correct word choice
and that
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that
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 is very convenient to go outside and come back .
Moreover
Linking Words
 , near our
residence
Add a comma
residence,
show examples
 there is a big cafe where I can have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lunch
However
Linking Words
 let me explain the issue one by one, the noise
that is
Linking Words
 coming from the new restaurant
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 me annoyed. The first thing I would like to draw your attention
is
Change preposition
to is
show examples
 ,
they
Correct word choice
that they
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 play jazz
musics
Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
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, I even hear their noisy steps .
In addition
Linking Words
 ,customers repeat after
singer
Correct article usage
the singer
show examples
 ,
sing
Correct word choice
and sing
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a loud songs
Correct the article-noun agreement
a loud song
loud songs
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , people dance and shout
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 each other . I am dissatisfied because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
I have a study whole day from 9:00 till 9:00 pm ,
then
Linking Words
 I come back to my accommodation to have a relax .
Thus
Linking Words
, I cannot fall
a sleep
Correct your spelling
asleep
show examples
 because of loud noise . I would suggest
to change
Change the verb form
changing
show examples
 the time of
this
Linking Words
 restaurant and
close
Wrong verb form
closing
show examples
 it at 10:00 pm at least.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I would appreciate it if you take the necessary steps to solve the problem, mentioned above. Yours sincerely, Lucy Liam

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grammar
Ensure that you proofread your writing to correct minor grammatical errors, such as 'I writing' to 'I am writing', and 'have came' to 'have come'.
structure
Consider organizing your ideas in clear paragraphs, perhaps separating the introduction, the body (issues related to noise), and the conclusion (suggestions). This will improve your logical structure.
clarity
Strive to provide more detailed examples to support your claims about the noise—this can enhance the strength of your arguments.
formatting
The letter follows a clear format, with a polite opening and closing, which is essential for formal correspondence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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