IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

‘Nowadays, news companies spend a lot of money covering international news. However, local news is more relevant to people’s lives and should receive more funding.’ To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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News
Use synonyms
 channels today are becoming
hub
Fix the agreement mistake
hubs
show examples
 for controversial
news
Use synonyms
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
 it is a selling point and
threfore
Correct your spelling
therefore
 ignore their local community and spend a fortune on international
news
Use synonyms
 which only
focues
Correct your spelling
focuses
focus
 on celebrities and international
polotics
Correct your spelling
politics
. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 trend and will explain my reasons
Linking Words
furthermore
Rephrase
further
show examples
 in upcoming paragraphs. The first and most important reason behind the disagreement is that our local community is completely ignored by
news
Use synonyms
reporters
Use synonyms
.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 healthcare in Kingston is brutal,
like
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
none
Correct quantifier usage
no
show examples
 emergency services provided
also
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 have to wait long hours to just see a doctor and
people
Use synonyms
 have to suffer a lot because of
this
Linking Words
. But local
news
Use synonyms
 channels are covering that
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
new brand of cosmetics launched by Kylie Jenner. Their local citizens are not even aware of their own city conditions.
This
Linking Words
 is not only the issue of one city,
this
Linking Words
 is around the whole world. The foremost job
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
news
Use synonyms
 channels is to provide
news
Use synonyms
 about what is in the air
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
 but they are just
fouces
Correct your spelling
focused
 on controversial
news
Use synonyms
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 they can sell better and show
completely
Change the adverb
complete
show examples
 ignorance of their own town.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
news
Use synonyms
reporters
Use synonyms
 are spending
fortune
Add an article
a fortune
show examples
 on covering international
business
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 their local
business
Use synonyms
 suffers from bankruptcy.
For example
Linking Words
, there is
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
 town named Smith Falls, which is known for
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
coziest
Change the spelling
cosiest
show examples
 cafes, but
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 local
reporters
Use synonyms
 ignored them and spent money on covering false
news
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 Toronto is always in the air because of
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 great
restraunts
Correct your spelling
restaurants
. These things lead to local
business
Use synonyms
 failures. But if
news
Use synonyms
reporters
Use synonyms
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
spend money on local
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 or on local aspects
then
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 will help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
small cities grow faster. In conclusion, I completely agree that
people
Use synonyms
 should know
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
what is happening around the world
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
 But ignorance of local
news
Use synonyms
 is completely inappropriate, Because
people
Use synonyms
 should know about the circumstances of their own city rather than affairs which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 happening in
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
. So,
news
Use synonyms
reporters
Use synonyms
 should cover
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
affairs like healthcare, education,
crime
Correct word choice
and crime
show examples
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 in their local cities and should promote local
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 more for
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 economic country growth.

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coherence and cohesion
Enhance the clarity of your arguments by ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates back to your main thesis.
task achievement
Elaborate further on your examples to provide a deeper connection to your argument; consider exploring the implications of your examples more thoroughly.
coherence and cohesion
Improve grammatical accuracy and spelling to enhance the overall quality of your writing; address minor inaccuracies that hinder clarity.
task achievement
You have presented a clear opinion with reasons to support your stance, which is commendable. Your essay reflects a strong conviction regarding the importance of local news.
task achievement
The use of examples from personal experience provides a relatable touch and strengthens your arguments overall.
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