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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart provides data on the number of biths given per woman in 6 Gulf countries in 2 seperate years 1990 and 2000.

The bar chart provides data on the number of biths given per woman in 6 Gulf countries in 2 seperate years 1990 and 2000.
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The bar diagram represents the fertility rate in 6 Gulf nations from 1990 to 2000. In the big picture, it is conspicuous that all countries had a downward trend in 10 years, with Oman
as
Change preposition
in
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 the first position in both years.
Focussing
Correct your spelling
Focusing
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 on
top
Correct article usage
the top
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 two countries which had the
significant
Correct quantifier usage
most significant
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number
Use synonyms
 of births, in 1990, Oman started from a peak at 7, before falling down to just over 5 in one year after.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of children born in Saudi Arabia in 2000 was
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 as
Oman
Change preposition
in Oman
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, after declining from 7 in the first period. Turning to the remained categories, both Bahrain and Kuwait had the same statistics in both years, 3 in 1990 and 2,5 in 2000.
In addition
Linking Words
, even though Qatar and Uni Emirat Arab started at the same
number
Use synonyms
 at 4, Uni Emirat Arab had
more
Add an article
a more
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 dramatic decrease in the
number
Use synonyms
 of kids born than Qatar by 1 point difference.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • birth rate
  • fertility rate
  • Gulf countries
  • economic development
  • social policies
  • healthcare improvements
  • population growth
  • decade
  • significant change
  • trend analysis
  • implications
  • variation
  • consistency
  • population dynamics
  • demographic changes
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