IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

When a lot of
criminals
Use synonyms
 get over arresting, they tend to commit new crimes at once. There are various reasons for
this
Linking Words
such
Linking Words
 as accepting it
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 a habit. I will recommend some solutions to overcome it like cruel adjustments.
The first
Correct article usage
First
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 and foremost, addiction to committing
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime
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 is one of
meaningful
Add an article
the meaningful
show examples
 reasons for
this
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 situation.
That is
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 to say, after
criminals
Use synonyms
 get freedom, it does not mean that they are free from their habits. Prisons are places
where
Correct word choice
that
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 are used to keep
criminals
Use synonyms
 far away from civils, not to isolate prisoners' addictions.
Additionally
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,
time
Correct article usage
the time
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 which is given to
criminals
Use synonyms
 in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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prison can be an opportunity for them to think about their reasons
to commit
Change preposition
for committing
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 the
crime
Use synonyms
 which caused to arrest
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. It can increase offenders'
ambitious
Replace the word
ambition
show examples
 to commit the same
crime
Use synonyms
, once again.
For example
Linking Words
, a person who is poor, but he is responsible for his family can try to steal something,
although
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 he has done it before.
On the other hand
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, making conditions tough at prisons can be useful to take offenders' polluted thoughts from them.
As a result
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, arranging new
untolerable
Correct your spelling
intolerable
standarts
Correct your spelling
standards
 can make
criminals
Use synonyms
 not commit crimes, again. Prisoners can measure
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
whether they commit a
crime
Use synonyms
 again or suffer much more.
For example
Linking Words
, a management staff of the prison can assign that a person who
will
Verb problem
committed
show examples
Use synonyms
crime
Correct article usage
a crime
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 again,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is going to be arrested for triple sentence time in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison. In conclusion, lawbreakers are able to commit crimes again because of their bad habits. In spite of these addictions, there are different solutions to be isolated from it like applying new regulations at prisons.

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Task Achievement
Try to provide a clearer thesis statement that outlines your main points clearly in the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure sentences transition smoothly to improve readability and coherence in your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider breaking down complex ideas into simpler statements to enhance understanding.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the question and provides some reasoning for why criminals might reoffend.
Task Achievement
Some relevant examples are given to support the points made, which is essential for enhancing argument clarity.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Rehabilitation
  • Reintegrate
  • Social stigma
  • Recidivism
  • Criminal records
  • Ex-offender
  • Associations
  • Comprehensive
  • Workforce
  • Mentoring
  • Incentivize
  • Stigmatize
  • Subsidies
  • Legitimate
What to do next:
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