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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Researchers shoes that people now day sleepless than they used to in the past what does you think is the reasons behind this? what are the effect on individual and society?

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There is no denying the fact that nowadays many
individuals
Use synonyms
 sleep a few
hours
Use synonyms
 compared to the past.
While
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 it is commonly held
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
 that there are numerous reasons behind
this
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 issue, there is
also
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 an
argumrnt
Correct your spelling
argument
opposes
Correct pronoun usage
that opposes
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 that. In my opinion, I consider that a huge problem because people who sleep less than 8
hours
Use synonyms
 will experience mental
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
.
To begin
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 with, one of the effects on
individuals
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 will be
loss
Correct article usage
a loss
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 of
concetration
Correct your spelling
concentration
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the brain.
In other words
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, any person who does not get enough sleep will be tired
fastly
Rephrase
fast
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.
In addition
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,
this
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 issue will reflect on the
individuals
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 in a bad way.
For instance
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, in 2020,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
study research was published related to two groups of people. researchers found the first group who slept more than 9
hours
Use synonyms
 daily more active and capable
to do
Change preposition
of doing
show examples
 complex work in
effective
Change the article
an effective
show examples
 way compared to others. Another point to consider,
any
Add a missing verb
is any
show examples
 community that
its
Correct pronoun usage
whose
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citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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dose
Correct your spelling
do
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 not spend enough time
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
rest will affect
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 productivity. It is
also
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 possible to say that
the the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productive
Replace the word
productivity
show examples
connect
Correct subject-verb agreement
connects
show examples
 directly with sleep and activity.
For example
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, in developed
country
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countries
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such
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 as
China
Add a comma
China,
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 there is a rule
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 all companies which
as
Correct your spelling
is
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 they give one hour
sleep
Change preposition
of sleep
show examples
 in the middle
working
Change preposition
of working
show examples
hours
Use synonyms
 to let their employees
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
 good and to improve their
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
show examples
. In conclusion, despite people having
diffrenet
Correct your spelling
different
 views, I believe that having less sleep may affect
individuals
Use synonyms
 and society in a
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 way.

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grammar
Make sure to proofread your essay for spelling and grammatical errors. For example, 'argumrnt' should be 'argument', and 'diffrenet' should be 'different'.
content
Introduce more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing. Consider citing studies or statistics that highlight the importance of sleep.
coherence
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by improving the transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will help guide your reader through your argument more smoothly.
content
You have identified important issues related to sleep and its effects on individuals and society. This demonstrates an understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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