Govt should spend money to encourage the development of sports and art for school students, rather than supporting professional sports and art performances for the general public. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some
people
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believe that the government should spend money to support
sports
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and
art
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for school
students
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instead
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of spending on professional
sports
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and
art
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for the general public. I agree with
this
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idea because helping
students
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can bring more long-term benefits. First of all, when the government supports
sports
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and
art
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in schools, it helps young
people
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to grow in a healthy and creative way.
For example
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, playing football or learning to paint can improve
students
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’ physical and mental health. These activities
also
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teach teamwork, discipline, and confidence, which are useful in life. If
students
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are given more chances to take part in
such
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activities, they may even discover their talents.
Secondly
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, spending money on school programs helps build a strong future. When
students
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learn and enjoy
sports
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and
art
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from a young age, they may continue in these fields and become professionals later.
For instance
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, many famous athletes and artists started their journey in school clubs and events.
On the other hand
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, professional
sports
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and
art
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performances are often expensive and do not always benefit everyone. They may only entertain
people
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for a short time
,
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apply
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while
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helping
students
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can have a long-term impact on society. In conclusion, I believe that government money should be used to encourage
sports
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and
art
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in schools.
This
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helps young
people
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grow and creates a better future for the country.
While
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professional events are
also
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important,
students
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should be the first priority.

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Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples or anecdotes to support your points, such as specific programs or initiatives that have positively impacted students in sports and arts.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using more connective phrases to improve the flow between sentences and ideas, which can enhance coherence.
Task Achievement
The introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which is good for task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs for each main idea, making it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • allocate funds
  • foster a healthier lifestyle
  • well-rounded education
  • character building
  • creative outlet
  • academic pressures
  • base of talent
  • national and international level
  • accessibility
  • promoting equality
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