IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Successfai sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that
professionals
Change the noun form
professional
show examples
 players earn more
moeny
Correct your spelling
money
 than
improtant
Correct your spelling
important
 occupations
such
Linking Words
 as doctors.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that they deserve millions because they have unique skills, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that unfair
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 professionals.

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task achievement
Expand on your points by providing specific examples and detailed explanations to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas; ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and supports your overall argument.
coherence and cohesion
Include a clearer conclusion that summarizes your main points and clearly states your opinion.
task achievement
You have clearly stated the topic and your opinion, which provides a good foundation for your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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