IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that the internet has brought people closer together, while others think it has isolated them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a debate over how the
internet
Use synonyms
 influence on
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
reletionships
Correct your spelling
relationships
. Some
saying
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
 that the
internet
Use synonyms
 effected on gathering
people
Use synonyms
 all around the world ,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that it has divided them . In my opinion , the
internet
Use synonyms
 become part of globalization among
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
, as
people
Use synonyms
 start to make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 from
other part
Change the wording
another part
other parts
show examples
 of the world . The
internet
Use synonyms
 made a big step to make
people
Use synonyms
 closer regardless
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 locations . As
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they try to meet with each other and it gives
oppotrunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to travel and know about traditions of other nations .
For example
Linking Words
 ,
people
Use synonyms
 by making friends
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
internet
Use synonyms
 become a family and have long-lasting
relaionships
Correct your spelling
relationships
.
Therefore
Linking Words
 , they try to go abroad to their friends
abd
Correct your spelling
and
 in
this
Linking Words
 way they
broad
Replace the word
broaden
show examples
 their horizons and
know
Verb problem
learn
show examples
 about
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 of living .
However
Linking Words
 , there is an opposite
site
Correct your spelling
side
show examples
 of thinking that the
internet
Use synonyms
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 humans stay isolated .
People
Use synonyms
 do not even try to go out and make some
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 lively , they prefer
chat
Add the particle
to chat
show examples
 with others by using
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and phones .
For instance
Linking Words
 , they waste their time only by
chating
Correct your spelling
chatting
 and staying in one place. They do not make
en
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
efford
Correct your spelling
effort
afford
 to organize meetings with them .
Thus
Linking Words
 , it leads to
become
Change the verb form
becoming
show examples
introverted
Add an article
an introverted
the introverted
show examples
 person
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
. In conclusion ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would like to say that in
technological
Add an article
the technological
a technological
show examples
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
 era the
internet
Use synonyms
 become an important way of making
people
Use synonyms
 closer and more and more humans are used to
sit
Wrong verb form
sitting
show examples
 on the
internet
Use synonyms
 and even by using different
web sites
Correct your spelling
websites
show examples
 they are able to find partners for themselves .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure that your introduction clearly outlines both sides of the argument and provides a brief overview of your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and enhance the logical flow of your essay, such as 'Moreover', 'On the other hand', 'For instance', etc.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with spelling and grammatical accuracy, as this affects the clarity of your ideas. For example, check words like 'relationship', 'effort', and 'opportunity'.
task achievement
You have presented a clear opinion and discussed both views of the argument, which is important for this type of essay.
task achievement
Your use of examples is a positive aspect; you illustrate your points about friendships formed through the internet, which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Consumer behavior
  • Virtual marketplace
  • Cybersecurity
  • Digital footprint
  • Return policy
  • Comparison shopping
  • Customer reviews
  • Retail therapy
  • Logistics
  • User interface
  • Payment gateway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: