IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Child labour is considered to be one of the most serious problems on the planet. What are the reasons why children find themselves in child labour and can be done to tackle this issue ?

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In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recent years,
child
Use synonyms
labour
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 has been more and more widespread around the globe as it decreases the manual work of the people by allowing
children
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 to do so. There are a lot of possible causes that have contributed to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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child
Use synonyms
 exploitation and several measures can be taken to tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem. One of the key
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 for increasing
child
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labour
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 is "
lack
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 of education". Even in the 21st century, a lot of people are devoided of education which is why they are unaware of family planning, rearing
and
Correct word choice
apply
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caring
of
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for
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children
Use synonyms
 etc. If they continue to give unwanted childbirth,
then
Linking Words
due to
Linking Words
lack
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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knowledge and finance they are left with no choice other than leaving them in
streets
Correct article usage
the streets
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, these street
children
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 are picked by
general
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the general
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 public and are forced
for
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into
show examples
child
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labor
Change the spelling
labour
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. Not only
this
Linking Words
, poverty
also
Linking Words
 plays a pivotal role in contributing to
child
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 exploitation. In order to solve
this
Linking Words
 global issue, the government should take several initiatives and plan impactful projects.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the Government should keep data
of
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on
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 women of reproductive age group, perform yearly surveillance of their status and most importantly even if they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 have any prior formal education they should be provided information on birth control and family planning.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
the
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apply
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pregnant and lactating women should be tracked regularly in
regards
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regard
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 to their
finance
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finances
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 and
further
Linking Words
 plans for their
children
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 so that the government could be aware if any families need financial aid.
Finally
Linking Words
, strict rules should be imposed against
child
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labour
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 so that no public can think of doing so. In summation,
lack
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 of awareness, poverty and
lack
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 of law against
child
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labour
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has
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have
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 tremendously contributed
for
Change preposition
to
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 unethical
child
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labour
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.
This
Linking Words
 can be demolished by formulating strong
law
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laws
show examples
, defining
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
 age and providing financial aid to mothers.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your paragraphs by ensuring each one clearly relates back to the main topic, effectively guiding the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Enhance your conclusion by summarizing the key points more clearly and suggesting a potential direction for future improvement regarding child labor.
task achievement
Incorporate specific examples or statistics to strengthen your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issue.
task achievement
The essay effectively identifies key causes of child labor and suggests comprehensive solutions, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of clear language and vocabulary enhances your argument, making it accessible to the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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