Some people think that government should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Sports have been
a
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the
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greatest source of entertainment
from
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for
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decades. Many people give the opinion that some of the life-taking sports should be banned by the government whilst others disagree with
this
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view.
This
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essay will discuss both opinions and describe why I believe that
along with
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freedom of
sports
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sports,
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security should
also
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be kept in mind. On the one hand, dangerous physical
activities
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such
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as car racing, mountain climbing, and paragliding could take the lives of young folks.
For instance
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,
while
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paragliding, the parachutes might not open and
also
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they might not be able to land in a proper place.
Similarly
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, during mountain climbing, crowds might get stuck
due to
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improper management of necessary
stuffs
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stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
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needed.
Due to
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this
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reason, there is a high chance of getting
frost bite
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frostbite
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. So, the population give the opinion that higher authorities should punish
such
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kinds of
activities
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running.
On the other hand
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, these recreational
activities
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provide
refreshment
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refreshments
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to individuals. To exemplify, people could go on cycling to utilise their free time with their friends which
also
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helps their body to remain active.
Likewise
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, when there are trained coaches to guide crowds in
such
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physical
activities
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, there is a very
less
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low
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chance of an individual getting any kind of physical harm. In my opinion, everyone can choose any kind of activity for their leisure time.
However
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,
guidance
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the guidance
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of
a
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apply
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trained personnel is
the
Correct article usage
a
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must. In summary, protecting the life of an individual is necessary.
However
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, they should
also
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get
freedom
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the freedom
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of
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to
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choosing their own recreational activity. So, creating strict rules and regulations by the government to participate in any kind of activity might help reduce the number of accidents.

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task achievement
Try to provide a clearer thesis statement that outlines your main argument more explicitly in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is supported by further details or examples. Some points could be expanded further with more elaboration.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
You have addressed both views and provided your own opinion, which is a crucial part of the task.
coherence and cohesion
The organization of ideas into paragraphs is evident, making the essay easier to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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