IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

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Some
students
Use synonyms
 decide to attend
university
Use synonyms
 in their hometown,
while
Linking Words
 others prefer to change
city
Use synonyms
. Living
Use synonyms
home
Change preposition
at home
show examples
 with their own parents has several advantages, especially related to economic reasons.
However
Linking Words
, it could bring
also
Linking Words
 drawbacks, avoiding an opportunity to gain independence. Usually,
students
Use synonyms
 choose to study an Undergraduate course in their own
city
Use synonyms
 in order to save money. They can live with their family, without any rent or transport expenses. The tuition fees are already really high and some families struggle just to pay for them.
Moreover
Linking Words
, boys and girls can remain in their comfortable environment, near their friends, with the same common habits.
Therefore
Linking Words
, attending
university
Use synonyms
 in another
city
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 is a part of the whole experience.
Students
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 can find their new
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home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
,
built
Wrong verb form
build
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 new relationships, and discover new interests. It is a way to become
adult
Correct article usage
an adult
show examples
 and find the right road for the future. In
this
Linking Words
 way, young people can grow their own independence, first of all learning how to manage their own expenses.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, not always the best
university
Use synonyms
 for us in our hometown, and having the
change
Correct your spelling
chance
show examples
 to expand our horizons can be positive for our future careers. Recent research from an American
university
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 has shown the benefits of studying abroad. The interviewed people found that their experience has contributed to their personal growth, both in
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
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,
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
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, and careers.
To sum up
Linking Words
, many
students
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 stay at
home
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 with their parents during their studies, saving money for their future and remaining in their comfort zone. Others,
instead
Linking Words
, choose to change
city
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, in order to live a complete experience. In my opinion, living away from
home
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 during
university
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 is the best choice, in order to find your own personal
consciuosness
Correct your spelling
consciousness
. For that, the advantages outweigh
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
no
doubts
Fix the agreement mistake
doubt
show examples
 the disadvantages.

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task achievement
The introduction provides a clear overview of the topic, but it could be made more engaging by briefly mentioning the importance of the discussion.
coherence and cohesion
In some parts, transitions between ideas are a bit abrupt. Consider using linking words or phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
You include good examples related to economic reasons and personal growth, but more specific examples could strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Check for minor grammatical errors and word choice to enhance clarity, such as "built new relationships" could be revised to "build new relationships".
task achievement
You effectively discuss both sides of the argument, presenting a balanced view of the benefits and drawbacks of living at home versus studying abroad.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion summarizes your points well and reinforces your opinion clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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