IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can goverments take to discourage people from using their cars?

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Most
people
Use synonyms
 in metropolitan areas over the
last
Linking Words
 thirty years have preferred to have their own vehicles, specifically cars.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
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 may
increased
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
 the levels of congestion on many routes. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 is true because, particularly in urban areas,
car
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 ownership is a symbol of prestige, and some
people
Use synonyms
 are frustrated with public
transportation
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.
Therefore
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,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 need to take
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
action to manage the use of private cars as
solution
Add an article
a solution
the solution
show examples
 for
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams in numerous areas. First of all, the government must be wiser in establishing laws related to
car
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 ownership. The general solution is to establish a policy about
car
Use synonyms
 quotas or be more strict with policies that have been created.
In addition
Linking Words
, creating regulations to increase vehicle taxes is
also
Linking Words
 important for controlling the number of private vehicles.
As a result
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, some
people
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 may reconsider purchasing a
car
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due to
Linking Words
 higher costs.
Moreover
Linking Words
, authorities may collaborate with institutions and academic experts to develop technology that
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
 sustainable
transportation
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.
This
Linking Words
 collaboration might lead to
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
 eco-friendly innovations,
such
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 as electric vehicles and improved public transport systems,
such
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 as a design website which offers real-time public
transportation
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 tracking and public
transportation
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schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
 may establish smart
traffic
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 management to manage
traffic
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 flow. Even though the government’s role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem is very significant, educating
people
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 is
also
Linking Words
 important, as it is not only the government’s responsibility
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
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 the actions of society that have an impact. One solution is to create a campaign that may
organize
Wrong verb form
be organised
show examples
 by environmental activists, volunteers, and other groups.The purpose of
this
Linking Words
 campaign is
encourage
Change the verb form
to encourage
encouraging
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 about the negative effects of owning a vehicle other than congestion are higher pollution and lower air quality.
Additionally
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, the campaign aims to encourage
people
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 to use public
transportation
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.
To conclude
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,
traffic
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 congestion remains a serious issue in a big city that needs to be handled. Both the government and citizens must be aware of the negative impacts of owning a
car
Use synonyms
 and take action to reduce its effects.

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task achievement
Develop your main points further with more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your opinion and the main points you will discuss, and consider using a more formal tone throughout.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, which will enhance readability.
content
You have identified key issues related to increased car ownership and its impacts on traffic congestion.
content
You provided a variety of measures that governments can take to address the problem, which adds depth to your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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