IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Reading books keeps a person's mind active, whereas watching films and television is passive and does not require a person to use their imagination. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that reading books keeps an individual's mind active ,
while
Linking Words
spectating
Verb problem
watching
show examples
 films and
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
 does not help the
person
Use synonyms
 use their
brain
Use synonyms
 .
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with the statement because reading can improve the
person
Use synonyms
's imagination about any incident , and helps to activate the
brain
Use synonyms
 and
way
Use synonyms
 of thinking . First , reading helps the individual understand in an efficient
way
Use synonyms
 about anything .
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , keeping your
brain
Use synonyms
 active and imagining the story that you are watching will have an outstanding effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 your
way
Use synonyms
 of thinking and processing . Studies showed that reading can improve the cognitive
processment
Correct your spelling
processing
 in your mind .
In contrast
Linking Words
 , watching films and television will
de-activate
Correct your spelling
deactivate
show examples
 your
brain
Use synonyms
's processing as you are not
doing
Verb problem
making
show examples
 any effort
while
Linking Words
 spectating . Second , reading
excessive
Add an article
an excessive
show examples
 amount of books or journals will benefit a
person
Use synonyms
 by
owning
Verb problem
giving
show examples
 a better
way
Use synonyms
 of concentrating .
Morover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, studies carried out showed that people who read excessively will have better concentration and much
efficient
Correct quantifier usage
more efficient
show examples
 memory about the things they read .
Although
Linking Words
 , reading can play a vital role in helping the
person
Use synonyms
in remembering
Change preposition
remember
show examples
 the thing they read because people will tend to remember things they read . In conclusion , reading can be considered vital and important for anybody as it
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
 in many good ways .
In addition
Linking Words
 , it helps with activating your
brain
Use synonyms
 in many sectors and improving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
memory and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
overall
Linking Words
 cognitive processing .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Work on providing more clear and comprehensive ideas. Try to elaborate further on your points or provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the linking of ideas between sentences and paragraphs to enhance coherence. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences contribute to that idea.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion towards the topic, showing agreement with the statement about the benefits of reading.
coherence and cohesion
There is a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which provides organization to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: