More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions?

#people #drinks

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Nowadays, carbonated

beverages

Use synonyms

are being drunk by a vast number of individuals. In fact, there are two compelling reasons for

this

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, which is their low cost and their easy access to the general public.

However

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, there are two effective remedies that could tackle these issues.

Firstly

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, the government could increase the taxes on carbonated

drinks

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and,

similarly

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, restrict them in schools and workplaces.

This

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essay will

further

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elaborate on the reasons and the solutions to

this

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phenomenon. It has been observed that sugary

drinks

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have been consumed in recent times by a lot of people

due to

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the fact that they are inexpensive than other

beverages

Use synonyms

Hence

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, the majority of the households would stock up in bulk.

In addition

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, these types of sweet

drinks

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are readily available to the general public. Take Jamaica,

for instance

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, sodas and other sugar-based

drinks

Use synonyms

can be purchased in any shop and even at the gates of schools.

However

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, to combat these problems,

beverages

Use synonyms

with added sugars and sweeteners should be heavily taxed.

As a result

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, the number of consumers will be reduced significantly.

Also

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, they should be utterly restricted from school canteens and the vending machines in the working environment because these unhealthy

drinks

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are what entice the majority.

However

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, it is

for

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this

Linking Words

reason,

this

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restraint will reduce the consumption of sugary-based

drinks

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For example

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, during a 2023 Coca-Cola yearly budget reading, it was reported that there was an overwhelming decline in their sales after their products were pulled from the schools' cafeterias and workplace vending machines. In Conclusion, there are two main reasons why a lot of people have been drinking glucose-based

beverages

Use synonyms

recently. In fact, these unhealthy products are being sold at a cheaper price in comparison to healthy

beverages

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, they can be purchased anywhere and anytime.

Therefore

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, taxes on carbonated

drinks

Use synonyms

should be increased and they should

also

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be removed from school lunches and workplaces to resolve these issues.

Submitted by natoyaperkinstwp on Sat Aug 17 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider providing a clearer transition between the identification of reasons and solutions. For example, using transitional phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' can enhance clarity.

task achievement

Include more rich and varied vocabulary. This can make your essay more engaging and reflective of a higher level of language proficiency.

task achievement

Be careful with grammar and punctuation, especially with the use of commas and conjunctions. Minor grammatical mistakes can detract from the overall quality of your writing.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This helps the reader follow the argument easily.

task achievement

You have provided specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments and makes them more persuasive.

task achievement

The essay addresses both parts of the task comprehensively, discussing both the reasons and the solutions effectively.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

320 words

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More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions?

Many people believe that funding space exploration is important. To what extent do you agree?

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Some people think that as long as professional sportsmen and sportswomen are good players, their behavior on and off the paying fields is not important. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that Reading books improves imagination of people and improves their language skills while others say watching TV helps. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some infomation is too important or too valueable to be shared freely.