More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions?

Nowadays, carbonated
beverages
are being drunk by a vast number of individuals. In fact, there are two compelling reasons for
this
, which is their low cost and their easy access to the general public.
However
, there are two effective remedies that could tackle these issues.
Firstly
, the government could increase the taxes on carbonated
drinks
and,
similarly
, restrict them in schools and workplaces.
This
essay will
further
elaborate on the reasons and the solutions to
this
phenomenon. It has been observed that sugary
drinks
have been consumed in recent times by a lot of people
due to
the fact that they are inexpensive than other
beverages
.
Hence
, the majority of the households would stock up in bulk.
In addition
, these types of sweet
drinks
are readily available to the general public. Take Jamaica,
for instance
, sodas and other sugar-based
drinks
can be purchased in any shop and even at the gates of schools.
However
, to combat these problems,
beverages
with added sugars and sweeteners should be heavily taxed.
As a result
, the number of consumers will be reduced significantly.
Also
, they should be utterly restricted from school canteens and the vending machines in the working environment because these unhealthy
drinks
are what entice the majority.
However
, it is
for
this
reason,
this
restraint will reduce the consumption of sugary-based
drinks
.
For example
, during a 2023 Coca-Cola yearly budget reading, it was reported that there was an overwhelming decline in their sales after their products were pulled from the schools' cafeterias and workplace vending machines. In Conclusion, there are two main reasons why a lot of people have been drinking glucose-based
beverages
recently. In fact, these unhealthy products are being sold at a cheaper price in comparison to healthy
beverages
.
Furthermore
, they can be purchased anywhere and anytime.
Therefore
, taxes on carbonated
drinks
should be increased and they should
also
be removed from school lunches and workplaces to resolve these issues.
Submitted by natoyaperkinstwp on

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coherence cohesion
Consider providing a clearer transition between the identification of reasons and solutions. For example, using transitional phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' can enhance clarity.
task achievement
Include more rich and varied vocabulary. This can make your essay more engaging and reflective of a higher level of language proficiency.
task achievement
Be careful with grammar and punctuation, especially with the use of commas and conjunctions. Minor grammatical mistakes can detract from the overall quality of your writing.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This helps the reader follow the argument easily.
task achievement
You have provided specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments and makes them more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the task comprehensively, discussing both the reasons and the solutions effectively.
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