IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

There is no denying the fact that computers have positive impact on children. Learning from an early age is an initiative step so it is a good step to use computers, but its time should not proceed so long.This essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of using computers

It is an undeniable fact that youngsters
are influence
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are influenced
show examples
 by
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 in a positive way.
Whereas
Linking Words
, some people believe that it is a great start for
child
Add an article
a child
the child
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 to learn
computer
Use synonyms
 at
young
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a young
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 age,
however
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, long sessions on
Use synonyms
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
 should be minimized. In
this
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 essay, we are discussing the advantages and disadvantages of using computers. We are living in a digital era,
Use synonyms
computer
Correct word choice
and computer
show examples
 education is a basic necessity for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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today's job market. The first merit of
computer
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 literacy at younger
age
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ages
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 is that they are gaining a vital skill.
This
Linking Words
 means that once they have completed their studies, they are ready for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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employment their
computer
Use synonyms
 skills will be advanced level, so it will be easy for them to find a job.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they can access free online learning with the help
computer
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, YouTube
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is the biggest free online platform to learn things like coding,
spreedsheets
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spreadsheets
,
etectera
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etcetera
.
As a result
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, they can learn more skills, which will widen their knowledge. The excess
useage
Correct your spelling
usage
 of
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 can affect children's growth negatively.
In other words
Linking Words
, using
Use synonyms
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
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 for a longer time period can cause serious health problems like blurred vision.
Thus
Linking Words
, watching
computer
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 screen constantly
put
Wrong verb form
puts
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 stress on
eyes
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the eyes
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, which
lead
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leads
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 to dryness in the eyes that
cause
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causes
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blurrness
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blurriness
blurred
 in vision.
Additionlly
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Additionally
, spending
large
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a large
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amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 of time
infornt
Correct your spelling
in front
 of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 reduces physical activity and makes them couch
potato
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potatoes
show examples
. To cite an example, an article was published
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
New
Correct article usage
the New
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 York Times that people who work on
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 regularly
faces
Correct subject-verb agreement
face
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 serious health
disease
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diseases
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 like obesity.
To conclude
Linking Words
, educating adolescents with digital skills is an optimistic approach for their
cognetive
Correct your spelling
cognitive
 development.
However
Linking Words
, we need to remind
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
 that long sessions on
Use synonyms
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 are taxing
which
Correct word choice
and
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 can affect
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
 health.

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Task Response
Ensure to clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your writing and enhance coherence between sentences and paragraphs.
Language
Focus on using wider-ranging vocabulary and check for spelling errors to enhance the quality of your writing.
Task Response
The essay presents a clear discussion of both advantages and disadvantages of using computers, showing awareness of the topic.
Task Response
Examples are provided to support your points, like the mention of YouTube as a learning platform.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • positive impact
  • initiative step
  • benefits
  • drawbacks
  • access to information
  • educational resources
  • cognitive skills
  • problem-solving skills
  • creativity
  • digital literacy
  • communication
  • collaboration
  • health risks
  • concerns
  • digital dependency
  • excessive screen time
What to do next:
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