IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A technology advances, travelling to space is likely to become an option for holidaymakers in the future. What do you thinkk are the advantages and disadvantages of space tourism?

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Space
Use synonyms
 is
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 world had a lot of Stars, Planets and Gases, advanced technology could take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in the future to
space
Use synonyms
 as
entartainment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
, my essay will have points
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
 topic.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand,
Space
Use synonyms
 companies invest
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 amount of money to reach some positions in the
space
Use synonyms
 as a commercial business.
For
Change preposition
In
show examples
 contrast, NASA or
Use synonyms
space
Capitalize word
Space
show examples
 X spent
resourse's
Change noun form
resourse
show examples
 to find
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to
sent
Wrong verb form
send
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 into
space
Use synonyms
 to explore it,
space
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 planets
such
Linking Words
 as
Earth
Use synonyms
 which is we
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 on it,
Moon
Correct article usage
the Moon
show examples
 we
saw it
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
 every night, Jupiter and so many.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are Stars like Sun
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 generate heat
light
Correct word choice
and light
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
, Many
people
Use synonyms
 will spend money to
visited
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
 Moon,
Jupiter
Correct word choice
and Jupiter
show examples
 and even if moving around the
Use synonyms
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
 to have
Correct article usage
a wonderfull
show examples
wonderfull
Correct your spelling
wonderful
 time
to see
Change the verb form
seeing
show examples
 how big is the
space
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand,
Risk's
Change noun form
Risks
show examples
 could be
danger
Replace the word
dangerous
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourist's
Change the noun form
tourists
tourist
show examples
 and companies
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time.
For example
Linking Words
, once the rocket lunch it will
by
Correct your spelling
be
show examples
 highly
probablty
Correct your spelling
likely
 to explosive during take off or
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
show examples
 high speed and
goes
Correct subject-verb agreement
go
show examples
 beyond the set point,
also
Linking Words
 when
rocket
Correct article usage
the rocket
show examples
 across
Correct article usage
the Atmosphare
show examples
Atmosphare
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
 it will
preduce
Correct your spelling
produce
reduce
 heat and if it is leake inside
cockpit
Correct article usage
the cockpit
show examples
 will kill all the passengers. Another risk,
low
Add a missing verb
is low
show examples
prusser
Correct your spelling
pressure
 and gasses in the
space
Use synonyms
 can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 if they
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 not wear the proper
cloth
Correct your spelling
clothes
show examples
 very well. To summaraize, leaving
Earth
Use synonyms
 has good benefits, exploring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
Use synonyms
 and may we find
onther
Correct your spelling
another
 planet we can live in if
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 war
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
 specailly nuclear war the radiation will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 every
souls
Change to a singular noun
soul
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
, At the same time will
Add a missing verb
be dangers
show examples
dangers
Replace the word
dangerous
show examples
 because we have limited information about
space
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to clearly outline your main points in the introduction and ensure that each paragraph corresponds to these points. This will enhance the overall structure and make your arguments easier to follow.
task achievement
Improve the clarity of your ideas by using straightforward language and avoiding overly complex sentences. This will help readers understand your main arguments more easily.
task achievement
While you have provided some examples, make sure they are more specific and well-explained to illustrate your points better.
task achievement
You have identified both advantages and disadvantages of space tourism, which shows a balanced view of the topic.
task achievement
You have demonstrated an understanding of the topic and provided some relevant ideas related to space tourism.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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